Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Finding Peace

There is a saying often attributed to Patrick Henry, but it was first penned by Evelyn Beatrice Hall.

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Hall, who wrote under the pseudonym of Stephen G. Tallentyre, wrote The Friends of Voltaire, an 18th-century biography of French Enlightenment writer and philosopher Voltaire, in 1906. Her book used these words to describe the principle of free speech.

The truth is you have the right to voice your opinions whether I like it or not. You have the right to express yourself in your own space and in your own way. I may not agree with what you say or even think you are wrong. But do you have the right to say it? Absolutely. This is still America, and the First Amendment still applies.

Too many people, unfortunately, have forgotten that principle.

Mature and intelligent adults can disagree. They can even have a respectful discussion based on facts and exchange ideas.

However, someone coming into your space to belittle, insult, and make demands on what you can or cannot say is not a mature adult. And I have sadly encountered a few of them lately.

In the last week, I have had to unfriend or even block several people from my social media sites, not because they disagree, but because they feel the need to attack, mock, and degrade to do it.

Most of us are secure in our beliefs. We stop reading if we encounter an article or post with which we vehemently disagree. We scroll right past it without commenting. It does not change what we think. It does not require a full-blown assault because we are confident in our own principles and values, even if they differ from the author's.

Some people, however, encounter the differing opinions of others as if they are storming the beaches of Normandy.

They tell you you are prohibited from saying this or that because it offends them. They may demand that you change what you have written. They may belittle, name-call, or use obscenities. They put immature little laughing emojis on all the comments. And they throw out "whataboutisms" and their own set of "facts"--many that have been disproven--like grenades at an entrenched enemy.

You need to understand the type of person who does this. They are not trying to convince YOU that you are wrong. They are trying to convince themselves that they are right. 

Sure, some people may simply lash out from pure anger. Others, however, do it out of insecurity. Deep down, they question their own beliefs. They are unsure of the values they adopted or the person for whom they voted. To elevate their self-esteem, they need to bring yours down.

If you must publicly belittle others or tell them what they can or cannot say to make yourself feel superior, you have far more significant issues than political differences.

I have a feeling I am not the only one who dismissed others from their digital world, either temporarily or permanently. And I am here to tell you, don't feel bad about it. It can be challenging to walk away--especially if that person was close to you at one time--but you deserve to feel safe in your own space.

No one has the right to tell you what you can say or how you can think. You would not allow them to do this in your own home. Do not allow them to do it on your social media sites.

People who cannot respect what you say in your own space are toxic. Even if they are family. Give yourself permission to eliminate toxins. Surround yourself with those who treat you respectfully, even if your politics differ. Kindness and political differences are mutually exclusive only if you allow them to be.

That said, if you attack and insult others on their sites, you are the toxin they have every right to eliminate. If you are using your own spaces to belittle others, that, again, is your choice. But please remember that nothing in the First Amendment protects you from the consequences of your own words and what they may do to your relationships. Is it worth having friends or family lose respect for you or walk away altogether over a meme? If you claim to be a Christian, does Jesus really want you to spread the faith by being cruel or narrow-minded?

Be the grown-up. Be secure and mature enough to scroll past what you don't like. Be confident enough in who you are to not insult others to make yourself feel better. Please be respectful, but demand the same for yourself. 

We all deserve safe spaces. Especially now, with the coming holiday season, we all deserve to find some peace. 




Thursday, November 7, 2024

There's Someone You Should Meet

 I do genealogy research as a hobby. I would like you to meet my great-great-uncle, Antonio Sorichilli.

Antonio served in the Italian army during WWII. As you may know, Italy was initially part of the Axis Powers aligned with Adolph Hitler and the Nazis. After the capture and execution of Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, Italy fought with the Allies.

When Italy signed an armistice with the Allies in September 1943, the Wehrmacht--the united forces of the German army, navy, and air force--took approximately 600,000 Italian soldiers as prisoners. They had been given a choice: join the Wehrmacht and fight against their own families and countrymen or be sent to the work camps. These men had refused to fight. My Uncle Antonio was one of them.

According to a family who still lived in Europe during WWII, Antonio was sent to a concentration camp. Italian POWs were mainly sent to one of three camps: Flossenburg or Mittelbau-Dora in Germany and Gross-Rosen in Poland. I have yet to discover which one of these he was in.

My Great-Great Uncle Antonio never came home. He died in a concentration camp at the hands of Hitler and his Nazi thugs.

No one in their right mind would admire or praise a horrendous human being like Hitler. Yet, according to retired marine general John Kelly, who served as Donald Trump's White House chief of staff from 2017 to 2109, Trump said more than once that "Hitler did some good things, too." 

Trump also told Kelly that he needed some "German generals." When Kelly asked if he meant the generals of Otto von Bismark, the chancellor of the German Reich responsible for Germany's unification in 1871, or Hitler's generals, Trump responded, "Yeah, yeah, Hitler's generals."

If you are about to tell me that these statements have been "disproven," spare me. We all know Trump admires dictators. He makes excuses for the horrific acts of Vladimir Putin and cares little if Ukraine is overrun. He fawns over and exchanges love letters with Kim Jong Un. He had a playdate at Mara Lago with Hungarian dictator Viktor Orban. He admires these men because he wants to be like them. Wielding unlimited power and demanding those under him bow to his every whim.

And if it comes down to a choice between believing General Kelly--a four-star general who fought in the Vietnam War and led the U.S. Military Southern Command--and a man who couldn't serve his country due to "bone spurs" and lies as often as he breathes--I will choose General Kelly every weekday and twice on a Sunday.

Hitler did not do "good things." Besides the death of my uncle, he sent six million Jews to their deaths in concentration camps. He is responsible for the slaughter of approximately 70 to 85 million people--about three percent of the world's population at the time--during WWII, which he began by invading Poland in 1939.

Let me make this quite clear. I will never support a man who adores and wants to emulate dictators. Ever. I will never vote for anyone who defends him, emulates him, or seeks his endorsement.

If your inclination at this point is to jump in and chastise me for not defending "life" by supporting Democrats, save it. You are defending a man who brags about sexually assaulting women and cheats on his wives with Playboy bunnies and porn stars. Who told his own nephew when he asked for medical assistance for his disabled son that he should just put him in an institution and let him die, then refused to give him a dime. Who lies about everything from Mexico paying for a wall to having a healthcare plan to "I won the 2020 election." Who mocks disabled people. Who refers to women as pigs and dogs who are "bleeding from somewhere." Who caused a rise in hate crimes toward Asian Americans with his juvenile references to COVID-19 as "kung flu." Who believes that "really great people" willingly participate in rallies on the side of swastika-waving neo-Nazis and torch-carrying white supremacists who chant, "The Jews will not replace us."

Want to defend and support this man? That is your choice. But believe me when I tell you there is no moral on high ground on which you can stand and criticize anyone else.

Why does Trump admire Hitler's generals? Because he wants to surround himself with minions who simply obey his every wish. During his last administration, he accidentally put in people with a bit of integrity who put the country and the Constitution over political parties and the whims of a madman.  

From Mike Pence, who refused to violate his Constitutional duty to certify the election, to Bill Barr, who told Trump point blank that there was no evidence of election fraud to investigate and that he did indeed lose the presidential election to Joe Biden, guardrails were put in place. Trump won't make that mistake again.

Let's meet some of Hitler's right-hand men, shall we?

-Adolph Eichmann - the primary architect of the "Final Solution" and the Holocaust. Eichmann came up with the "efficient" method of slaughtering Jews by sending them into gas chambers and disposing of their remains in massive furnaces. Jews were not the only ones who met this fate. The Nazi camps executed prisoners of war, disabled individuals, Roma and Sinti populations, homosexuals, and Jehovah's Witnesses. They even threw in a few priests and nuns for good measure.

-Heinrich Himmler - second in power to Hitler, Himmler was in charge of implementing the Holocaust and oversaw the network of Nazi concentration camps across Europe.

-Hermann Goering - head of the German air force, the Luftwaffe. Goering was responsible for the Blitz on London, an effort to break the spirit of the people of Great Britain. An estimated 40,000 to 43,000 British civilians were killed in the Blitzkrieg.

Theodor Eicke - head of the SS division Totenkopf, Eicke was a significant figure in the development of the Nazi Concentration Camps. The Totenkopf he oversaw was responsible for many of the war crimes committed by the Nazis, including the slaughter of French Arab and African troops who had surrendered to them in France and the murder of Black French Army soldiers they had captured for the crime of simply being Black.

These are the types of people Trump believes should be his advisors. These are who he admires. So if I don't stand with someone who praises the horrific Nazi dictator and his cast of butchers who were responsible for the death of one of my relatives in one of their abhorrent work camps, I am sure you will understand.

Hitler did do one thing for the benefit of all mankind. He committed suicide and rid the world of Adolph Hitler.

 


Thursday, October 31, 2024

The Truth About (Eating) Cats and Dogs

It's Halloween, an appropriate time for a horror story. This one's horror is that lies are being passed around as truth.

For weeks, Donald Trump has been railing about Haitian immigrants in Ohio eating dogs and cats, a claim that is based on a Facebook post.  And we all know what a bastion of truth and accuracy social media is. These claims have been amplified in statements by his running mate, Ohio Senator J.D. Vance.

This all started with an actual case in Canton, OH--nearly three hours east of Springfield. A woman named Alexis Ferrell was accused of killing and eating a cat in front of several other people.

Here is the problem. According to WPXI news in Ohio, Ferrell is not a Haitian immigrant. She was born in Ohio and graduated from high school in Canton.  

(Reference: https://www.wpxi.com/news/local/woman-accused-killing-eating-cat-ohio-is-not-an-immigrant-was-born-canton/CNKQDHSCUVF75HKKPODXURQSXQ/)

The city has seen a rise in Haitian immigrants, but they are not there illegally. According to Ohio Governor Mike DeWine (R), about 15,000 Haitian immigrants have relocated to Springfield under a Temporary Protected Status program due to instability in their country.

The city faces challenges, no doubt. Public hospitals, which by law must treat everyone (citizen or non-citizen) regardless of their ability to pay, have been stressed by the influx. The governor is sending additional state troopers into the area not because of an increase in crime but because many of these immigrants are unfamiliar with traffic laws. Tragically, a Haitian immigrant was involved in a traffic accident with a school bus, which led to the death of a young boy. But more about that later.

DeWine, whose family operates a charity in Haiti in honor of their daughter who was killed in a car accident, has called the Haitian immigrants hard-working, family-oriented people who escaped the gang violence in their country to work toward a better life. 

(Reference: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/ohio-is-sending-troopers-and-2-5-million-to-city-where-many-haitian-migrants-have-relocated)

So, naturally, we now have the starting point to spread false rumors that are ripe with racist undertones. 

According to an article in the Columbus Dispatch, Springfield City Manager Brian Heck has released a statement saying there is absolutely no evidence that Haitian immigrants have kidnapped or harmed pets. Nor is there any indication they are participating in illegal activities, including "squatting or littering."

In addition to eating people's pets, Trump then insisted Haitian immigrants are stealing and eating ducks out of parks in Springfield. This accusation is based on a viral photo showing a Black man (no evidence exists that he is even Haitian) carrying a dead goose.

First, according to the newspaper, this photo was taken in Columbus, OH, not Springfield. Second, the individual who took the picture in July and wishes to remain anonymous told the reporter that he "regrets taking the photo and did not expect it to be used by right-wing accounts to weaponize against Haitian immigrants.

(Reference: https://www.dispatch.com/story/news/2024/09/17/springfield-ohio-truth-latest-since-trumps-haitian-pet-eating-claims-fact-check/75260318007/)

Combine that with the regret of the woman whose now-deleted Facebook post sparked the entire incident. Ericka Lee heard through the local grapevine that a neighbor's cat had disappeared, so she naturally posted the rumor that a Haitian immigrant might have taken the animal.

After the post began circulating, Lee checked in with the neighbor to determine whether the claims were true. Turns out they were not. 

The alleged missing cat did not belong to her neighbor's daughter, as Lee had claimed. It supposedly belonged to a friend of a friend of the neighbor's daughter.

The "eaten" cat is actually named Miss Sassy. After Miss Sassy disappeared in August, her owner, Anna Kilgore, did indeed file a police report insinuating that her Haitian neighbors had something to do with her cat's disappearance.

A few days after filing the report, Kilgore discovered Miss Sassy hanging out in the basement of her house. A picture of Miss Sassy has even appeared in several newspapers, showing her where she was found, alive and well, in a camping chair.

Kilgore told the Wall Street Journal that she has apologized to her Haitian neighbors not only for filing the false report but for the role she played in perpetuating the hateful lies now circulating in right-wing circles.

But the ball of hate was already rolling long before Kilgore's apology. Once Lee's Facebook post found its way into the hands of J.D. Vance and the right-wing media. It took on a life of its' own, much to the horror of Lee. "I was not raised with hate," Lee told the New York Times. "My whole family is biracial. I never wanted to cause problems for anyone."

The false nature of the claims is either lost on Trump and Vance, or they simply don't care as they continue spreading the lies. As a result, an entire community is now in right-wing crosshairs.

(Reference: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/17/us/springfield-haitians-pets-facebook-rumor.html)

Worst of all, Vance knew the rumors were false before spreading them. According to a report in the Wall Street Journal, a member of Vance's staff called Springfield City Manager Heck on September 9 to ask if the rumors of Haitian immigrants eating pets were true.

“He asked point-blank, ‘Are the rumors true of pets being taken and eaten?’” Heck told the Journal. “I told him no. There was no verifiable evidence or reports to show this was true. I told them these claims were baseless.”

(References:

https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/20/politics/springfield-ohio-vance-campaign-wsj-report/index.html

https://www.wsj.com/us-news/springfield-ohio-pet-eating-claims-haitian-migrants-04598d48)

None of this matters to Trump or Vance. As recently as last week, they have continued perpetuating the rumors that Haitian immigrants in Springfield are eating family pets. Vance's staff even waved a copy of the now-denounced police report around as "proof" even though the woman who filed it has admitted it was based on false information.

 Vance even doubled down on those lies after being called out on them while also chastising the media for reporting on his lies. 

"The American media totally ignored this stuff until Donald Trump and I started talking about cat memes," Vance told CNN's Dana Bash in an interview on September 15th. "If I have to create stories so that the American media actually pays attention to the suffering of the American people, then that's what I am going to do."

Bash then asked Vance to clarify what he meant about "creating stories. "Dana, it comes from first-hand accounts of my constituents. I say that 'creating a story,' meaning that we're getting the American media focus on it." 

Vance continued to perpetuate the lie by saying that "people who shouldn't be in the country" were eating pets.

 Even though there are no credible reports or evidence that this is happening. Even though pets disappear every day for various reasons that have nothing to do with people eating them. He also continues to ignore the fact that the Haitian immigrants he is accusing of eating pets are actually here legally.

Vance has lost sight of the fact that he is putting his own constituents in danger. Numerous bomb threats have been called in on Springfield buildings, including 33 bomb threats on schools. All the threats have been determined to be hoaxes, some even coming from bots that originated internationally. However, buildings must be evacuated and searched each time a threat is received.

And each time Trump or Vance repeat these lies, the threats against Springfield ramp up again.

Highway patrol officers sweep each Springfield school building for bombs every morning before students are allowed inside. All as a result of rumors that Trump and Vance clearly know are lies but don't care.

It is worth the collateral damage to paint an entire community in a false and negative light to score political points. And if a few people get hurt in the process--whether they are innocent school children or a group of black legal immigrants--it matters very little. It is the price they are willing to pay to gain an advantage through misinformation.

We should all be disturbed by this, but those who care little about facts and prefer to cast whatever their political biases deem "truthful" are clearly on board with spreading misinformation.

The parents of the young boy killed in the bus accident have every reason to be angry at the Haitian community in the Springfield area. But they are not.

Although Trump did not mention Aiden Clark--the child killed in the accident--during the debate, Vance has used the child's death as a talking point on several occasions alongside the false claims of Haitians eating pets and spreading tuberculosis and HIV around Springfield. He claimed that the boy was "murdered by a Haitian migrant who had no right to be here." 

Speaking in front of the Springfield City Commission on September 10--the same day Trump accused Haitian immigrants of stealing and eating people's pets--Nathan Clark, Aiden's father, blasted the far right for using his son's death for political gain. 

"You know, I wish that my son, Aiden Clark, was killed by a 60-year-old white man," Clark told the Commission. "I bet you never thought anyone would ever say something so blunt. But if that guy killed my 11-year-old son, the incessant group of hate-spewing people would leave us alone."

"Using Aiden as a political tool is, to say the least, reprehensible for any political purpose," he continued. "And speaking of morally bankrupt...politicians like (Ohio Republican Senate Candidate) Bernie Marino, (Texas U.S. House Representative) Chip Roy, JD Vance, and Donald Trump then spoke in my son's name and used his death for political gain. This needs to stop now."

Clark went on:

"My son...was not murdered. He was accidentally killed by an immigrant from Haiti. This tragedy is felt all over this community, this state, and even the nation. But don't spin this towards hate."

"There is nothing moral and Christian about lying and deliberately putting people in danger. There is nothing moral and Christian about spewing hate towards anyone, even if their beliefs are different from yours. There is nothing moral or Christian about discrimination and hate-mongering. Jesus died on the cross to prove that."

(Reference: https://fox2now.com/news/national/his-son-died-in-a-crash-with-a-haitian-immigrant-he-says-politicians-are-using-it-for-political-gain/  )

No, it is not moral or Christian to deliberately lie and put people in danger. But it resonates with those who don't distinguish fact from fiction. And that translates to political gain that makes lying well worth it.

Suppose they are willing to lie about something as ridiculous as a group of legal immigrants eating pets while knowingly putting an entire community--including school children--in danger. What else are they willing to lie about for political gain? 

Well, hurricane relief, for one thing. Trump and Company are spreading false rumors that there is no hurricane relief money because it was all spent on "housing illegal immigrants" and that FEMA is seizing property and homes. They also claim that there are no representatives of FEMA in North Carolina and Georgia and that all of the cleanup work is being done by independent groups. All lies. 

Threats against FEMA workers have sometimes caused the agency to pull its people out of various regions. Explain to me how this helps the people who have lost everything?

These lies have been debunked by the governors of both states and many Congressional representatives, Democrats and Republicans. But again, the lies are worth the collateral damage.

The fact is that many who will be voting next week do not care about these lies. Anything that fits in with their political ideology and biases is deemed truth, no matter how bizarre and unlikely or who it hurts.

Some horrors, sadly, are all too real.

Thursday, June 22, 2023

What's Left Behind

 In August of 2010, we went as a family to a local animal shelter. We came home with an 8-week-old brown puppy we named Chloe.

On June 16, 2023, just four days after her 13th birthday, we went with her to the
vet one last time to say our goodbyes.

She was a 10-pound ball of energy that grew into a 74-pound sweet yet often stubborn dog. There were times when she could be an absolute love bug. Other times, she would look at you like she would flip you off if she actually had the digits to do it.

She was more than a dog to us. She was our protector. Our travel companion. Our constant shadow. Our floor cleaner. The greeter when we walked in the door. And a friend who knew exactly when you needed a cuddle, an encouraging lick, or a ball dropped at your feet.

Her fur may have turned grey, but for 12 years she was a ball of energy that could still run with the puppy next door. Then in August of 2022, we found a tumor in her mouth that the vet diagnosed as melanoma.

This is a fast-moving cancer, she advised us. She probably only had weeks or months left.

But being the dog she was, she defied the odds.

The tumor was removed, and follow-up visits showed no sign of it returning. Her blood work was excellent. We thought we had dodged a bullet. Perhaps she was in total remission or the diagnosis was wrong.

Yet little signs started creeping in that her age was catching up with her. She moved a bit slower, had some difficulty getting up, and went on some medication for joint pain. Her hearing greatly diminished. And she lost some interest in the toys she so loved.

In late April of this year, we found another tumor in the exact same spot. The vet removed it and was confident she got all of it. But on a follow-up visit only three weeks later, the tumor was already growing back.

Then the bleeding started. Just spotting at first, and we thought it was from the tumor site as it was still healing. One night, however, she had a bad nosebleed. Another followed a few days later. She now had a tumor in her nasal cavity.

A Chinese herb recommended by the vet helped slow the bleeding. For about three weeks, she had relatively minor episodes. But on the night of June 15th, she had a major bleed that lasted at least 30 minutes.

She was panicking and kept shaking her head to clear her nose, which kept the bleeding from clotting. All four of us were covered with blood trying to get her to calm down enough to slow the bleeding. We finally did after about five towels and copious amounts of blood on the floor, walls, and ourselves.

We also found out that night the emergency vet clinic in our area had closed. The closest one was 40 minutes away.

What happens next time if we truly cannot stop the bleeding? She may not survive a 40-minute drive to a clinic. That night, we decided we cannot put her or ourselves through this anymore. In the morning, I called the vet and made an appointment to bring her in that afternoon.

That morning, we all rearranged our schedules to spend her last day spoiling her. We gave her more treats than we could count. She had one last doggie sundae. We took her on a final walk through the neighborhood she loved and protected. We gave her all the pats, hugs, and love a great doggy deserves.

At 3:00 PM, we all walked into the vet's office with her one last time.

She was never fond of the veterinarian and was shaking at first. But we surrounded her, petted her, and talked to her until she calmed down. We gave her Hershey Kisses from a jar the vet tech gave us labeled “goodbye kisses.”

When the time came for her to go, we told her what a good doggy she was, how much we love and will miss her, and how we would never forget her. She went peacefully, taking a part of each of our hearts with her.

A few days have passed since that sad Friday. Her ashes have been returned to us and will be buried in our backyard when her memorial marker arrives. Her dog bed, food dish, and toys have been put away since it was too painful to look at them.

Leftover dog food and treats have been distributed to neighbors with dogs who express their sadness at her passing. Although I suspect they will not miss her barking at them.

Her leftover medication has been packed up and will be given to a local no-kill shelter. And the emptiness left behind without her presence is sometimes more than I can bear. My first walk without her was unbelievably hard, especially when a neighbor asked where she was. I barely held it together as I told her Chloe has passed.

Still, I know she is not really gone. When we lose a pet, they take a piece of our hearts with them. But the memory of the love they left behind fills that void in our hearts. And that love will never leave us for as long as we live.

Thank you, Chloe, for keeping our yard safe from squirrels, birds, moles, chipmunks, and anything else you could chase and sometimes catch. Thank you for protecting us from anyone who approached our fence, even if it was neighbors you saw hundreds of times.

Thank you for never leaving food on the floor long enough for us to enact the five-second rule. Thank you for the exercise, the enthusiastic greetings when we came home, and all those moments you somehow knew we just needed you close by. Thank you for the wonderful memories of the time spent with the world’s best dog.

Most of all, thank you for the love, the devotion, and for being our beloved doggy.

Rest in peace, sweet girl. We will love you always.

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

I Can’t Tell You What “Woke” Is. But I Can Tell You What It Has Done

 Apparently, it is an insult now if you call someone “woke.” But I don’t quite understand why.

Especially since I don’t even understand the definition of “woke.” Is it someone who believes in treating others as equals despite our differences? Or is it just some general label you give someone because you don’t like their views?

This is especially important because if you ask people the definition of woke—including those who complain about it—they usually can’t define it either.

I think most people consider it something akin to making people comfortable and not trying to insult anyone. But others apparently see it as something demeaning that keeps them from expressing themselves.

This is puzzling because you certainly are allowed to express yourself. It’s usually the consequences of expressing yourself that cause the problems. But I digress.

Like most people, I cannot give you a definition of “woke.” But I can tell you what “woke” has done:

  •          It passed the Nineteenth Amendment, giving women the right to vote and a voice in America.
  •          After 146 people—mainly young women—died horrific deaths in a factory fire and after thousands of workers were maimed, disabled, and killed in workplace accidents, it established unions and occupational safety standards to protect American workers.
  •      After decades of Jim Crow laws, it eliminated the lynching, segregation, and discrimination of African Americans through the Civil Rights Act of 1964.
  •      It eliminated unfair voting practices in the south by White officials who gave “tests” and administered grandfather clauses to potential Black voters with the Voting Rights Act of 1965.
  •      It makes discriminatory practices against LGBTQ individuals—such as kicking them out of their homes and dismissing them from jobs—illegal. It also legalizes gay marriage, which is supported by over 60 percent of the people in this country. 
  •      It passed the Americans with Disabilities Act, guaranteeing equal treatment and access to public buildings to Americans with mental or physical impairments.
  •       It established the Clean Air Act in 1970 and the Clean Water Act in 1972, both passed by a Democratic Congress and signed into law by Republican President Richard Nixon.
  •      It gave women reproductive rights. A right supported by over two-thirds of Americans.
  •       It gave rise to the #MeToo movement, which gives women a voice against predatory sexual practices and has finally encouraged law enforcement to take sexual assault cases seriously.
  •       It has given us Medicare and Social Security to help Americans deal with aging. It has given us disability to aid those who are injured or sick. It has given us a myriad of social programs to aid those struggling with poverty.

 In every one of these cases, there were those who opposed these movements or the legislation that resulted. Why? Because for some people, when someone of a different race, sex, sexual orientation, social class, or even a different political persuasion gains rights, they believe they are somehow losing theirs.

People who are angry over some perceived “loss of rights” or dissatisfied with their lives will always see someone else’s gain as a personal affront to them. And they need a scapegoat.  Someone they can target for their perceived loss of status. They need a convenient target upon which to take out their anger.

So now, apparently, that anger extends to people who support those who were or are marginalized. So we call them "woke" in an effort to insult them. When all most of us are trying to do is make sense of an ever-changing world.

I had an argument with someone once who said the entire #MeToo movement was void because a few women claimed that men whistling at them constituted sexual harassment. This person claimed that this makes the entire movement “ridiculous” and we should just disregard it.

First of all, some women do see this as a form of sexual harassment regardless of how it is meant. That does not mean that everyone who supports the movement will agree.

Secondly, I cannot find a single case where a man was actually arrested or prosecuted for this. Nor can I find anywhere in the United States of America where whistling at women would be considered a crime.

And finally, the #MeToo movement has resulted in a dramatic decrease in sexual harassment in the workplace. It has also meant that police departments now take reports of sexual assault seriously. There is now a movement nationwide to process a huge backlog of rape kits in dozens of cities around this country.

But, sure. We should declare an entire movement that has occurred to the benefit of ALL women null and void because a few don’t like men whistling at them.

What you need to remember is that in every movement—regardless of whether it is on the right or the left—you are going to have those on the extreme edges who take things too far. But to use that as a litmus test of an entire movement is extreme in itself, not to mention ridiculous.

Speaking of taking things too far and embracing the ridiculous, let’s look at the reaction of some on the far right to the recent collapse of the Silicon Valley Bank. Fox News devoted copious amounts of time on Monday to claim that the bank’s instability and collapse were due largely to the fact that they tried to be too “woke.”

Really? So it had nothing to do with the banking deregulations that occurred in 2018 (because we clearly learned nothing from 2008)? And that bank’s heavy reliance on investments in high-tech startups? Or the fact that Silicon Valley Bank had extensive holdings in bonds, which lost value when interest rates started to climb?

To listen to the words of “wisdom” from the likes of Fox News or Florida Governor Ron DeSantis—who never misses an opportunity to take an uninformed cheap shot—you would think that bank was run by Greenpeace, the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and a drag queen named LaChicqua.

But Fox is in damage control right now for a number of reasons, and recent court document releases have shown us how seriously we should take anything that comes out of the mouths of Rupert Murdoch and Company. Including their definitions of “woke.”

Even if you believe that woke has gone too far, take heart. History has continually shown us that when society leans too far to the extreme, balance eventually returns. What comes to pass is a middle ground that won’t make anyone on the extreme edges happy but is something by which the majority of us can abide.

What NEVER comes to pass, however, is a return to the old status quo where you can marginalize, demean, criminalize, and deny basic rights to those who look or behave differently from you because you need someone to blame.

So if you seek a return to a narrow-minded, ignorant mindset and believe the rest of us will blindly follow, you have bigger problems than “woke.”

Thursday, February 16, 2023

Enough With the Thoughts and Prayers


Gun violence has hit a little close to home this week.

My daughter's alma mater, Michigan State University, was the latest victim in a string of casualties. Shannon is no longer at the campus but still has friends there. On Monday night, she was texting with someone who had barricaded themselves in one of the buildings while a person who had no business having a gun roamed through several buildings, shooting and killing at random.

Yes, the typical outrage is being bantered about. People are angry that this has happened yet again. Others, however, counter and claim that this is not a "gun" problem. It is a "societal" problem or a "mental health problem," and the guns are as blameless as their victims and are not REALLY killing people. Or the actual problem is that more people are not running around with guns to shoot back at the people with guns.

Sure sounds like a gun problem to me.         

But that outrage will play out as it always does. With nothing. Simply because a portion of our politicians is beholden to a constitutional amendment ratified in December of 1791. 

A time when the young United States of America had no standing armies and relied on volunteers. 

A time when a nation that now boasts nearly 332 million had a population of  3,929,214.

A time when the $12 cost of purchasing a gun--about $390 in today's money--limited the financial ability of many people to purchase one. That equaled about five weeks' worth of wages in Colonial times. No one who did not absolutely need a gun spent five weeks' worth of their wages on one.

A time when muskets and flintlock pistols held one round at a time and could fire off a maximum of three to four rounds per minute, while today's semi-automatic weapons can fire as many as 45 rounds in that same time period.

The founding fathers may have envisioned a country that would grow exponentially. I think it is safe to say they did not envision anything like the carnage that modern guns can inflict.

But none of that matters. As some see it, we are all simply collateral damage in the right to own guns. And as the collateral damage adds up, they simply double down. To the point where even common sense measures are seen as a "radical left" tactic to ban all guns.

Well, I am not a member of the "radical left." I am a moderate. I reject extremism on both sides of the political spectrum. I also have guns in my home. And I have had it.

I do not want to hear your excuses. I do not want to hear only "thoughts and prayers." As someone who DOES support the right of citizens to own firearms, I want common sense.

I want red flag laws passed that allow families to work with law enforcement to keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill or those suffering from psychological issues, whether long-term or temporary.

I want the gun show loopholes closed.

I want expanded background checks and mandatory seven-day waiting periods for ALL gun purchases.

I want all illegal firearms and all guns confiscated during the commission of crimes to be destroyed, not sold at auctions or deliberately put back into circulation so that law enforcement can "trace" them back to criminals. We all know how well Operation Fast & Furious worked out.

Lastly, I realize that the practice of private citizens owning semi-automatic weapons is a hot-button issue. Everyone has an opinion, and that is fine. To me, however, no private citizen needs to own a weapon whose only purpose is to kill as many people in as short a time as possible. I want the sale of semi-automatic weapons discontinued to the general public.

And let's talk about people with guns shooting at bad guys. Back in 2015, a suspect was fleeing a Home Depot here in Michigan after leaving the store with unpaid merchandise. The man was caught on surveillance video. Employees were aware and were following the suspect to get his plate numbers. Police had been called.

However, a woman with a licensed pistol took it upon herself to stop the thief. She began randomly firing at the suspect's vehicle in a parking lot full of people. 

The thief got away but was later arrested. The woman was also charged and given 18 months probation for reckless use, handling, or discharge of a firearm. 

It turns out that just because you have a permit to carry a gun doesn't mean you can whip it out and start firing it in public. It also means that even if someone is a "good" guy with a firearm, it doesn't make them responsible. Or smart for that matter. 

I don't understand the logic of arming a whole bunch of people who just randomly start firing a gun in a situation where they may not even understand the circumstances or consider the "collateral damage" that may be all around them. Or don't care simply because they want to be labeled a "hero." Leave the hero work to those who are required to be specially trained and put in specified numbers of hours on a gun range to be certified to use that gun.

You don't have to agree with me. That is certainly your right. 

But I am guessing there are a lot more people out there like me who are sick to death with the "thoughts and prayers" of those who want to point fingers and pour the blame on the "other side," but have no desire to do a damn thing to stop it. Because doing something about it would require them to grow a spine and stand up to the gun lobby.

It would also take away many of their talking points and their ability to put all of the blame on someone else. After all, when you do nothing but run your mouth, the risk is minimal.

Prayer, in my opinion, is certainly a good start. But James 2:14-17 reads:

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

What does that mean for those who go around continually offering thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families, to those traumatized by the death and violence they have witnessed, but do nothing more? When you are not offering the solutions, not giving the most vulnerable members of society the protection they need, is that not "faith without works?"

Thoughts and prayers alone have never stopped a bullet. But for those who have only thoughts and prayers to offer, they go a long way toward keeping them flying.



Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Changes in Seasons

 I usually look forward to autumn. I love the colors, the cool crisp air, and the sights and smells of this amazing season.

But not this year. Because I know I will likely be losing my beloved companion of 12 years. My dog, Chloe.

She was recently diagnosed with an aggressive and rapidly-spreading form of melanoma. Although her blood work is excellent, X-rays reveal the cancer may already be in her lungs. The vet cannot say for sure, but she very likely only has months to live.

Her time all depends on how long it takes the cancer to spread. It could only be a matter of weeks. Or she can hold on for six months or longer. No one knows.

I try to concentrate on giving her the best doggie life I can and focus on the time we have left. She still loves her food and treats. We continue to take our morning walks, although she is moving slower now. And our walks also take more time because I no longer hurry her. I give her the chance to stop, sniff, and enjoy this world while she still has time.

But the uncertainty is always lurking in the background. I find myself dreading the time when she will not be here for a walk on the Lake Michigan shore or a short hike near the woods by our cabin instead of taking in the moment.

So, like all difficulties in life, I have placed this in God’s hands. I know he will guide both her and us in His wisdom. I am certain He will give her the gift of the time she needs while giving us the capacity to enjoy these moments with her along with the wisdom to know when it is time to let her go.

For now, we will keep taking walks as the morning air grows cooler each day. I will buy her a loofah dog—which she generally tears apart within a few days—just because I know the pleasure it will give her. I am going to buy the fancy frosted dog cookies at the pet store that I normally only buy for her birthday, just because I can. And I will keep reminding myself to live in each and every moment with my friend.

Because all seasons bring changes.

Thursday, March 3, 2022

More Quotes To Live and Laugh By

 It’s a great time to be alive. The light at the end of the coronavirus tunnel is in sight, although it could actually be the headlights from another oncoming COVID train. Time will tell. Putin is attempting to start WWIII in Europe. And a large portion of the country continues to live in an alternative reality where facts are optional.

So, once again, it is time for more “Quotes to Live and Laugh By (Because Drinking Before 5:00 PM Is a Bad Idea)":

  • I will put you in the trunk and help people look for you. Don’t test me.
  • You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? Yeah, I don’t have one of those.
  • If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting.
  • The Wi-Fi went down for five minutes so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
  • I am pretty sure if I smacked the stupid out of you, there wouldn’t be anything left.
  • I told my husband I wanted to be cremated. He made an appointment for next Wednesday.
  • My dream job would be driving the karma bus.
  • I have reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.
  • I can keep my mouth shut, but you will still be able to read the subtitles on my face.
  • My “resting bitch-face” and “active bitch-face” are pretty much the same thing.
  • He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

So, as the price of a barrel of oil approaches the cost of your first car, don’t forget to keep a sense of humor. Find funny in the not-so-funny, and give yourself permission to laugh.

As the saying goes, “Don’t take life so seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

The Enemy Within

America just marked 20 years since the attacks on 9/11. We memorialized the 2,977 citizens who lost their lives in New York, the Pentagon, and in a field in Shanksville, PA. Many of whom died as heroes trying to save their fellow citizens.

Something struck me as I watched the memorial services. Our ability to come together when an attack comes from outside our borders is amazing. Whether it is a strike from Japan that decimates our Pacific naval forces, a nuclear threat only 1,500 miles from our shores by the Soviet Union, or terrorists who kill our citizens and attack our institutions, we rise to the challenge. We unite. We fight.

But when the threat comes from within, that is a different story. The battle lines are drawn between right and left, and the only battle we fight is against each other.

When a virus kills over 600,000 Americans, we turn vaccines and safety measures into political statements. When an election does not go our way and we are lied to by pundits and politicians whose only goal is to maintain power at any cost, we turn on our own police. We attack and vandalize institutions we claim to hold sacred. 

When minority groups attempt to level the playing field by asking for equal rights, we don't wish to understand. We believe those who tell us that by these citizens gaining ground, the rest of us will somehow lose our own rights in the bargain.  

When our family, friends, and neighbors have political opinions that differ from ours, rather than listen and attempt to find common ground, we label them as Traitors. Unpatriotic. Communists. The Enemy.

What do you think this says to those who wish us harm? To the Vladamir Putins, the Kim Jong Uns, the Bashar al-Assads, or the Osama bin Ladens of the world?

It tells them they do not need guns and bombs. They do not need armies. They do not need hijacked airplanes to attack America.

A virus released into the air or water means a large percentage of the country will refuse to take safety measures to prevent an outbreak, and most of those will believe it is a hoax or a political move by the opposing party, so why take it seriously? Then they will proceed to willingly spread a potentially deadly pathogen.

A carefully orchestrated disinformation campaign against an election, a government leader, a political party, or a minority group--regardless of how bizarre or erroneous--will mean that a percentage of Americans will not only believe it is true because it reflects their own biases but will also happily spread your lies for you. 

These same individuals will simply refuse to accept the decisions of government leaders, laws or court rulings they do not like, or election results. And they will take matters into their own hands. Violently if necessary.

Why would our enemies need to attack us when we are so willing to do the work for them? They can simply pull a few strings and watch as America implodes. Then strike once we have sufficiently weakened ourselves.

Right now you are probably feeling one of two things. You feel helpless because of the climate many of our so-called "leaders" and political pundits have created. But we are not helpless.

We can vote the politicians out of office who willingly deceive, and who put their own self-interest and megalomania ahead of those of the citizens of the United States of America. 

We can unite against deceit and misinformation. We can call out those who spread conspiracy theories as facts. We can label them as the lies they are, not dismiss them as "alternative facts." 

We can get our news and information from only websites and media outlets that are rated as credible on sites like mediabiasfactcheck.org, and stop spreading the "facts" created by Russia, North Korea, Yemen, and China.

Most importantly, we can stop wholeheartedly believing in the narrative that only fits our own biases or our personal agendas. We can take responsibility for what we circulate, and make sure we are not spreading half-truths and "facts" that are cherry-picked and manipulated before we pass them along.

As for the rest of you, you are probably angry. Not at the picture of the dangerous divisions I paint, but at me personally for daring to define them and point fingers at those you wholeheartedly support and believe. But I would ask you, at whom are you REALLY angry? Sometimes, the truth hurts.

Because unquestioning belief in anyone or anything is dangerous. When we place all of our trust and faith in these individuals and belief systems, we deliberately put on blinders.

True patriotism is not blind. It is standing up for your country when it is right and standing against it when it is wrong. And when manipulation and lies are needed to preserve the status quo, America is most definitely heading in the wrong direction.

Our blind biases cause us to see each other not as fellow citizens, but as the “other” who deserve to be treated as less than Americans, or worse, less than human. Undeserving of compassion and understanding. Whose very existence needs to be marginalized, or disposed of completely.

As former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly said after the attack on the Capitol on January 6th: "We need to look infinitely harder at who we elect to any office in our land — at the office seeker’s character, at their morals, at their ethical record, their integrity, their honesty, their flaws, what they have said about women, and minorities, why they are seeking office in the first place, and only then consider the policies they espouse.” 

Additionally, we need to take a hard look at ourselves and ask, "Why?" Why does an enemy that is real in a physical sense means we unite, but one that is less than tangible means we turn on each other?

We have proven time and time again we can rise together. What remains to be seen is how we may fall apart together.

America stands at a crossroads. Which path you take, which path we all take, could make the difference between an America that lives up to the phrase "liberty and justice for all," or one that, piece by piece, destroys herself from within. Choose wisely.

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Finding Humor in a Not-So-Funny Year

If 2020 were a drink, it would be a colonoscopy prep.

Thank you. I will be here all week.

I can't actually take credit for that saying. I found it online. In this troublesome year, one of the things that saved my sanity is humor.

For many of us, 2020 has been, to say the least, challenging. Between economic uncertainty, a contentious election, and the loss or potential loss of those we care about due to a horrendous virus that some choose to treat as a joke, 2020 has been devastating for many.

My brother, sister-in-law, and aunt all survived COVID-19. My childhood ballet teacher, who at 72 was still teaching and directing the Johnstown Concert Ballet, did not.

This past year did have its good moments. Cliff and I were able to take a vacation just as the pandemic started. In fact, we were on a gigantic cruise ship with about 5,000 other people in the Caribbean when it all hit the fan. 

We were able to finish the cruise, but it is a little hard to completely enjoy a beach in Belize when people are being quarantined on a cruise ship that just docked in California.

Obviously, we made it home without issue and not a single case of the virus was confirmed on that ship. Thank God for small blessings.

Being stuck at home, however boring and claustrophobic it can be for some, had its advantages. My gardens never looked better. I have organized, sorted, and donated things I have not been able to get to in the 20-plus years we have been in this house.

Although the holidays this year are different, they are not without merit. Without the usual parties, dinners, plays, movies we want to see, and concerts we want to attend, our little family is more relaxed and actually enjoying the holiday season more.

Like the rest of you, however, we have learned there is such a thing as too much togetherness. In the moments when I cannot stand one more second of these people--and you ALL know where I am coming from--I turn to humor.

This entire year I have generated toward the lighthearted and the funny. I seek them out in television series, books, and movies. The holidays have been no different. I rewatched many reruns of The Office.  I have seen National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation at least six times because it makes any holiday at your own house look like an episode of The Waltons. The holiday book I am listening to right now is called Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat. No, it is not about my own family.



I have so appreciated the humor that the witty people of the world have shared online in the form of sayings and memes. Here are some of my favorites: 

  • Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body.
  • My doctor asked me if anyone from my family suffers from mental illness. I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."
  • My body is a temple. Ancient and crumbling. Probably cursed or haunted.
  • The officer said, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
  • At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
  • I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words.
  • Another wine bottle with no genie at the bottom. I'll keep looking.
  • I was told to check my attitude. I did...it's still there. What's the problem?
  • Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. They forgot to mention morons.
  • If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
  • If you're happy and you know it it's your meds.
  • Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
  • I didn't mean to push all your buttons. I was just looking for mute.
  • There's a fine line between genius and crazy. I use that line as a jump rope.
  • If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.
  • Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn in the kitchen told me I'm fine.
  • I don't have ducks. I don't have rows. I have squirrels and they're drunk.
  • I am going to stop asking "How dumb can you get?" People seem to be taking it as a challenge.
  • You think it's bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people who were homeschooled by day drinkers.
  • At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods I'd just go.
Author Steve Goodier once said, "A sense of humor helps us to get through the dull times, cope with the difficult times, and manage the scary times." Finding a reason to laugh, even in the most difficult of situations, helps us keep our humanity. I hope you were able to hang on to your sense of humor as well as your compassion in this trying year.

So in the waning days of 2020, here's to finding a little joy, hope, and laughter in a year that we all want to forget. And here's hoping we don't need to look too hard to find them in 2021.




Sunday, August 23, 2020

A Question of Faith

As a lifelong Catholic, my religion is as much a part of my identity as being Italian or Polish. But something has changed over the last four years. It seems that there is no longer a place for people like me in the Catholic Church. All because I refuse to accept that my value as a Christian lies in how I decide to vote based solely on a single issue.

At a recent sermon, a deacon at my church spoke about the responsibility of a Catholic. And that responsibility is first and foremost voting pro-life. Although he did not come right out and say it, the message is clear. You must support only candidates that claim they are against abortion under all circumstances.

Here is the conundrum: I refuse to support a vile, pathetic excuse for a human being in the likes of Donald Trump. I refuse to support any Republican that enables his abhorrent behavior and makes excuses for his divisive, narrow-minded rhetoric.

Here is a man who, every time he has a problem with an African American, tweets that they are "dumb." Every. Single. Time. Look back through his tweets--they are part of presidential record--and tell me this is a "coincidence." Once can be an anomaly. Twice can be a coincidence. Three or more times is a pattern of belief.

This is coupled with the fact that he has already labeled Hispanics as "criminals" and "rapists." He believes "really great people" deliberately align themselves with the likes of KKK members, neo-Nazis, and Alt-Right. He throws children of illegal immigrants into cages. Not temporary holding facilities as the Obama Administration did until they could find proper care facilities to take them as some claim to justify this. For weeks. For months. In many cases, without beds, pillows, a change of clothes, or even a toothbrush. Their "crime" is that their parents brought them here. They are essentially imprisoned simply as a warning to those who would cross the border. Come here we will throw you in jail and cage your children like animals. Yet his supporters insist he is "not a racist."

He refers to women as "dogs" and "bleeding from somewhere." He has been accused of sexual misconduct with dozens of women. He employs prostitutes and pays off porn stars. And we all remember the infamous "grab 'em by the pussy" comment. But despite all of this, his adoring public claims he is not a misogynist, and his behavior can be excused as "locker room talk," "boys will be boys" and "behavior that was acceptable in another era."

Yet they vilify the behavior of Joe Biden--who is admittedly too touchy-feely--as "creepy" and "inappropriate." So touching women on the back and kissing them on the head is inappropriate, but grabbing them by a certain part of their anatomy is okay? 

And isn't this touchy-feely behavior also the product of a bygone generation? This behavior was considered almost normal 30 or 40 years ago. Men in politics and the business world regularly behaved this way toward women. Watch a few episodes of "Mad Men" if you don't believe me. Granted, it was NEVER acceptable by women. By how is "boys will be boys" and "behavior that was part of another time" acceptable for one candidate, but not the other? And on what planet is grabbing women in that matter EVER excusable behavior under any circumstance?

My favorite is the claim that the Democrats will be legalizing pedophilia based on Biden's behavior. That would make as much sense as the Republicans legalizing prostitution. Since Donald Trump clearly has a fondness for it. 

He mocks the handicapped. He refers to anyone who is not a far-right conservative as a "liberal" because there clearly are only two schools of thought in this country. He and his supporters label me as "un-American" and the enemy because I oppose not only many of his policies but the way he denigrates and disrespects the office of the presidency.

Ronald Reagan had so much respect for the presidency he would not even remove his suit jacket while in the Oval Office. Donald Trump uses it as a platform to hurl insults and tweet juvenile nicknames. Respect is not guaranteed, sir. It is earned.

What I cannot tolerate most, however, are the lies. He promised to bring good manufacturing jobs back to the U.S. Prior to the pandemic, wages, hiring, and manufacturing fell, not increased. He claims the stock market is a measure of his performance. Yet the stock market measures the health of corporations, not necessarily the workers that support them. The CEOs were making more money, but were employee wages rising in commiseration with the stock market? Check job reports and your answer will be a resounding "no."

He promised that tariffs would make foreign companies pay more but we as Americans would not feel the pinch. Yet those costs have been passed along to us in the form of higher consumer prices. Wonder why your grocery bill is more? Even products made in the United States rely on foreign companies to provide materials for production or packaging. Countries that used to import from the United States are now looking for products elsewhere in the world to avoid the tariffs their own nations have placed on American goods in retaliation. Explain to me, please, how this helps the American worker?

He lied about getting Americans this great health plan. Instead, he supported efforts by the Republicans to repeal Obamacare in its entirety. Without having a program in place to carry over the mandates he swore would be untouched, including the pre-existing condition clause, the lifetime cap clause, the dependent child clause that allows children to remain on their parents' insurance until age 26, and the prescription drug clause. If the Republicans had managed to eliminate Obamacare, all of these protections would have immediately gone away, leaving millions of Americans unprotected and unprepared.

But what would Republicans care? I have had conservative friends tell me that healthcare is a privilege, not a right. Besides, anyone can get minimum care at a public hospital. Minimal care at a public hospital is essentially putting a bandaid on an artery bleed. And if someone has to choose between food or medication or go bankrupt because they get cancer, that is just the American way, right?

He lied about protecting the LGBTQ community. He lied about eliminating the deficit and has instead ballooned it. And how IS that Mexico will pay for the wall thing going?

Even worse, his supporters lie for him. Any news that does not paint him in the glorious light to which they and Trump himself believe he is entitled is labeled as "fake." Think of how this whole "fake news" phenomenon got started. The Parks Department released the crowd size numbers for Trump's inauguration. Trump accused them of lying. The press reported crowd size numbers released by the department. He accused the press of lying. Time-stamped photos proving the smaller crowd sizes were released. Trump had his then press secretary Sean Spicer call a news conference to scream at the press that despite all evidence to the contrary, they were lying in an effort to discredit the greatness and adoration of Donald Trump. Thus the world of "fake news" and "alternative facts" was born.

Cherry-picked portions of videos and manipulated images are passed around as "proof" to back up their positions. And not one of them even bothers to fact-check to find if the information is even legitimate. If it backs up their bias, it has to be true. 

And "fake news" has grown into a monster. I truly do not think the Republican Party and even Trump himself believe that the men and women who report the news (and a few who work for the AP and Reuters I know from my college days), who work their whole lives to establish credibility and reputations, are engaging in a vast conspiracy with the far left, Democrats, Obama, Hillary, and the Sasquatch to make up stories about Trump. 

Does the press get the details wrong at times? Absolutely. It is a product of the competitive nature of today's media when they are competing for dwindling advertising dollars. Getting the scoop, even if those facts have not been completely verified, gives them the edge. This is why you will hear "allegedly," "reportedly," or "this has not been independently verified" with many reports.

Yet, when I ask people to give me an example of a story that, from start to finish, has proven to be completely made-up, you can hear the crickets chirping. And if you start jumping up and down and screaming about the whole Trump campaign working with the Russians thing, I suggest you actually READ the Mueller report instead of parroting what conservative pundits tell you. But the far-right has now created a fake news beast that has grown to such immense proportions they have no idea how to control it, let alone end it.

Never in our history has a president accused the press, whose role in our democracy is so important that it is defined in our constitution, as being part of a conspiracy while embracing and repeating conspiracy theories so ridiculous the writers of "The X-Files" never even thought of them.

Yet they seem to have no problem with his blasphemous claim that he is "The Chosen One." Really? I always thought that on some level, God has a sense of humor. But this is pushing it even for Him. I am still waiting for Him to reveal the punchline.

But none of this matters. Because according to my church, I am supposed to embrace this man since he claims to be pro-life. I say "claim" because he expressed views that aligned him more closely with the Democratic Party prior to 2016. That was until he figured out he could never win the nomination as a Democrat. Yet I should support him. No matter what his character reflects. No matter who he marginalizes or denigrates. No matter what the moral cost to anyone or anything except the unborn.

When all this began, I was puzzled over the number of people who I believed to be good, decent, educated citizens that embraced the idea that those who dared to think and believe differently than themselves had somehow become the enemy. America was founded because a group of people had a difference of opinion with the King of England. She has been built and gained strength by a combination of beliefs that stretch over both sides of the political fence. And she has been better for it.

And in the years since, it has become far worse. Now I hear from my own church that I am not a good Catholic if I do not cast a vote based solely on one issue. I hear from friends and family who pass along "informative" posts from far-right "Christian" groups that as a Catholic I must embrace the Republican party, no matter how revolting a candidate may be. Because I cannot be considered a Catholic unless I only vote pro-choice.

I used to think that these narrow-minded people did not deserve to be in the category of "Christian," let alone refer to themselves Catholic. Now I realize that because I cannot turn a blind eye to ideologies and behaviors that I believe to be morally wrong yet have nothing to do with abortion, I am the one who does not belong.

I cannot condone let alone align myself with people who claim to hold life sacred, yet support caging children. Who want laws eliminating abortion, which I believe is a moral issue but not a legal one, yet support candidates who want to cut aid to underprivileged children, cut education, cut health programs that help the poor and elderly, and support a proposal to cut payroll taxes which will have devasting effects on social security and Medicare, not to mention the elderly who depend on them. If you defend the rights of babies to be born yet wash your hands of all responsibility once they are here, you are not pro-life. You are pro-birth. And you forfeit all right to question the morality of anyone else.

I cannot consider myself a part of a group that claims to embrace the messages of Jesus, yet ignores his core teachings. What was the life of Jesus about? Did He ever once mention that you must protect the unborn yet ignore and malign those who are already here? Did He encourage discriminatory practices against those whose lives or beliefs differ from yours?

Jesus walked among those who were considered the dregs of humanity. He placed his hands upon a leper--who was considered unpure and an outcast of society--and healed him. He gave sight to a man who had been born blind and whose disability was considered punishment for something his parents had done. A man who others passed by while he begged because he, too, was outside of acceptable society. Jesus healed a paralyzed man and did not bother to ask him what his sexual orientation was, or what political party he supported. 

He stopped the stoning of a prostitute by asking those who judged her if they were without sin. Because only those whose lives are a perfect example of piety earn the right to judge, condemn, or belittle others. If any of you who are reading this fall into that "perfect" category, let me know. I will not only message you my address, but I'll also provide the rock.

Overwhelmingly, His message was that of love. Of acceptance, understanding, and compassion. I've got news for you, folks. Jesus would have baked that wedding cake for the gay couple in Colorado.

I am sure many of you are already screaming "Liberal!!" at the screen or are giving me the mature and intelligent label of "Libtard." I would expect nothing less from some of you. 

Funny thing is I am not a liberal; my views are considered moderate. I support the rights of law-abiding citizens to own pistols or hunting rifles. My husband is a hunter and we have certainly had guns in our home. I do not, however, support any private citizens owning assault-style weapons, nor do I believe that anyone with a felony or a documented history of mental illness should be allowed to own guns. Loopholes in gun laws need to be closed.

I believe that welfare should be a hand up, not a handout. But I also support programs that give these people opportunities to learn skills that give them a living wage and keep them from coming back on the welfare rolls. 

My nephew Jeff is a police officer and a great one. My local police department is wonderful. It is possible to support police yet express outrage over the killings of innocent people. Killings by officers that have been repeatedly cited for brutality but who are protected by blanket immunity laws that keep them on the streets. Laws that need to be changed. 

And yes, more whites are killed by police because, based on population statistics, whites outnumber blacks in the United States. But on a pro-capita basis, blacks are twice as likely to be the victims of fatal shootings than whites or Hispanics. And as we have seen in the cases of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Philando Castille, or Eric Garner, deaths at the hands of police are not always justifiable.

When Jesus gave us the parable of the shepherd who leaves his sheep safely in the fold to search for one missing lamb, did that mean that those 99 sheep were unimportant? Of course, those sheep still mattered. But it is the ONE that is lost. It is the ONE that is hurting. It is the ONE that needs help. When black citizens are overwhelmingly the victims of unjustified police violence and brutality, they do, indeed, matter.

I support the rights of my fellow citizens to peaceably protest. When these protests turn destructive or violent, however, whatever message you were trying to convey is lost amid the vandalization. But how can you condemn all protestors as "radical" and "out of control" when your own leader lobs tear gas at peaceful protestors to take a photo op with an upside-down Bible in front of a church? Isn't that "out of control" as well? 

How do you condemn the violence of protestors without condemning the violence against them by the man who is supposed to protect ALL citizens of this country, not just the ones who support him? How do you justify sending military covertly into cities to arrest people, even those not demonstrating violent behaviors? 

If a mayor or governor asks for federal help, that is one thing. But this is not a Banana Republic in South America. This not Russia or North Korea, even though Trump clearly admires how these men run their countries.  We do not turn the military on our own citizens when they exercise a right to peacefully protest. I thought that was a lesson we had learned at Kent State.

How about stepping into that church on Sunday instead of worshiping on a golf course, Mr. President? Isn't' THAT what the Chosen One would do? And considering that $140 million of our tax dollars have gone to cover your weekly golf trips as of August 22, it probably would have been a whole lot cheaper in the long run if you just took that $400,000 (before taxes) yearly salary. And before you start screaming about Obama, his travel cost taxpayers $114 million. Over eight years.

And wouldn't the Chosen One take the lead when this country is facing a crisis? A true leader steps up, rises to the occasion, and does what he or she needs to protect ALL citizens. But Donald Trump did not want the responsibility. He put the burden on the governors to set the rules during the pandemic. Those individuals would then have to take the heat and allow him to do what he does best: sit back and tweet insults and criticisms. 

If you lack the desire to lead and then defer responsibility to the individual states, you then forfeit any right to complain about how those individual governors handle the situation. What does it say about a leader who doesn't have the courage to take charge but then encourages citizens to rebel in certain states because he doesn't like the rules he himself did not have the gonads to set? 

It really is a perfect set up for Trump. It then allows him to claim that the pandemic is not all that serious and that some are "taking to too far," because that is exactly what his worshippers want to hear. They can use it as an excuse to say that a governor they don't like is interfering with their "rights." By claiming it is being blown out of proportion, Trump can also downplay the seriousness and imply that it is a hoax or an attempt to destroy the economy and thwart his reelection. Claims that it will "go away" will soothe his followers and allow them to turn wearing a mask into an excuse for denial, an infringement on their rights, and a political statement rather than an attempt to save lives in a virus outbreak.

I, for one, listen to medical experts. I wear a mask without complaining because I have been asked to do something to protect my fellow citizens, especially those who are essential workers and parts of vulnerable populations. I care more about people than political statements. And if you think your "rights" are more important than anyone else's, think again. Your rights end where the health and welfare of everyone else begins. Period.

He stopped travel from China at the end of January, and rightly so. But at the same time, COVID-19 cases were skyrocketing in Europe. Turns out those in China who could not get to the United States were booking travel to Europe, then entered the U.S. from there. European travel was not banned until March 12. If you don't think this inaction contributed to the spread of the virus in America, you are kidding yourself.

Right now, my instinct is to distance myself from the church in which I was raised. Because I will be voting for Joe Biden. Am I excited about him as a candidate? Not really. But I watched the Democratic Convention and not once did he label anyone on the right as the enemy. Not once did anyone during the entire convention call Republicans a derogatory, immature name, not even Trump.

Were they tough on Trump? Certainly, and justifiably so considering the situation we are in. Countries with leaders who set national mandates on everything from schools to wearing masks are coming out of this pandemic. The United States has nearly one-quarter of the deaths from it. And we are fumbling along blindly trying to figure out how to open schools and businesses with no national guidelines in place.

To those who believe that hospitals are faking COVID deaths to get more money, that is considered medical fraud. The government has always taken that very seriously, especially when it comes to Medicare and Medicaid. I have been hearing these claims since March. So medical fraud has been occurring on a nationwide scale for six months now and the Trump administration and the Republican party have not launched an investigation, let alone made an announcement that they know this is occurring? Why do you think that is?

I hear the claims over and over that the Democrats are "obstructionists." But I ask you why there are over 100 bills sitting at the Senate--many of which are bi-partisan--that Mitch McConnell refuses to bring to a vote. Why did the Democrats and Steve Mnuchin sit down together to hammer out a stimulus bill because Donald Trump did not even have the decency or moral fortitude to put aside petty differences in a national emergency? And why has the House passed a new bill extending unemployment benefits to those affected by the pandemic that the Senate will not bring to a vote and Trump says he will not sign without "concessions," including that devastating payroll tax cut? Ask yourself honestly who is REALLY playing the role of obstructionist here. 

That is not to say that Democrats are perfect. They have played their part in contributing to the divisive nature of our political climate that led to Trump's election. They forgot their roots in the working class of America and instead embraced big money and corporate donors. 

There are also those on the Democratic side who surely label all Republicans as the enemy. Or believe that anyone who is a conservative is a racist. I know that they are not. If you are offended by anyone who claims that all Democrats support the enigma known as "Antifa," you cannot then turn around and label all conservatives as supporters of the KKK. That only makes you a hypocrite. And that hypocrite label goes both ways.

But there is room for disagreement within the Democratic Party. You can be a liberal, a progressive, a moderate. And you are not made to feel as if you are unwelcome because you do not 100% toe the narrow party line.

I will be watching the Republican convention this week and making it a drinking game. I will drink whenever someone says "radical left," "evil Democrats," or refers to me as the "enemy." I will be dead drunk within the first 15 minutes. Because that is all there is according to the Republican party. There is no room for moderates. No room for independent thinking. No room for a difference of opinion. You are either all in, or you are the enemy.

I am sure I will hear from many of these "Christians" and "Catholics" who will say such things as "Good riddance" or hurl a few immature slurs my way. They will certainly not recognize themselves in this narrative because, for them, Christianity is no more than a political buzzword. An excuse to denigrate or condemn. A reason to accuse others of discriminating against you as a Christian because you wish to legally discriminate against those whose beliefs or lifestyle differs from your own.

There are those family and friends who will unfriend or block me. Be my guest. If your relationships are defined only by the narrow views you embrace, I feel very sorry for you.

But there are those of you who will see yourself here. Just know that I feel your pain. Let's hope that one day, we will find our identity again. And this country, with all its diversity, will find a collective soul that rises above the hate, condemnation, divisiveness, and narrow-minded views that want to rule it.

Vote. Make your voice heard. Apply for an absentee ballot if your state allows under the current circumstances. Or plan to stand in line on election day but take any safety precautions you can. Vote your beliefs and your conscience. Do not let anyone else tell you who you are or what you must believe. No matter what the cost.









Thursday, June 18, 2020

What I Learned From Country Music



I was never a fan of country music until a few years ago. Since artists like Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, and Dan + Shay have made it a more mainstream genre, however, I find myself listening more and more.

There are a few things I have learned from country music:

  • There are no paved roads anywhere in the south; no matter where they live, they drive on dirt
  • Everyone owns a pickup truck
  • No one owns a dog under 10 years old because every canine mentioned must be a "good ol' dog"
  • Everyone has just broken up with someone
  • The only clothing women own are cutoff denim shorts, crop tops, bikini tops and plaid flannel shirts tied up to reveal their navels
  • Women do not own shoes

Another thing I have learned is that country music is a man's world.  If you think I am wrong, read the lyrics to "Girl in a Country Song" by Maddie and Tae:
 
Well, I wish I had some shoes on my two bare feet
And it's gettin' kinda cold in these painted cut-off jeans
I hate the way this bikini top chafes
Do I really have to wear it all day?

I hear you over there on your tailgate whistlin'
Sayin', "Hey girl"
But you know I ain't listenin'
'Cause I got a name
And to you it ain't "pretty little thing", "hottie" or baby
Yeah it's drivin' me red-red-red-red-red-red-redneck crazy

Bein' the girl in a country song
How in the world did it go so wrong?
Like all we're good for
Is looking good for you and your friends on the weekend
Nothing more
We used to get a little respect
Now we're lucky if we even get
To climb up in your truck, keep our mouth shut and ride along
And be the girl in a country song

Well, shakin' my moneymaker ain't ever made me a dime
And there ain't no sugar for you in this shaker of mine
Tell me one more time, "you gotta get you some of that"
Sure I'll slide on over, but you're gonna get slapped

Five years ago, you were a lot less likely to continually hear lyrics that were so stereotypical. Sure, those lyrics have always been an element in some songs, but not on such a wide scale.

Another trend seems to be the domination of male country singers. It is typical to listen to a country station and hear one female country vocalist for every seven songs sung by a male. You just have to watch the music award shows to confirm it. Women are being pushed out of country music.  Unless it is to straddle the tailgate of a truck or ride along in cutoff jeans and belly shirts with their bare feet on the dashboard.

Yet there are many talented female country singers out there if you are lucky enough to hear their songs between all the male voices. Kacey Musgraves, Kelsea Ballerini, and Lauren Alaina come to mind. And the ladies are pushing back, as evidenced in the Maddie and Tae song.

Come on, fellas.  Women have more to contribute to country music--or anywhere else for that matter--than shakin' their money-makers. No sugar for you.