Yesterday was one of those difficult days that all pet owners dread having to face. We had to make a decision to end the suffering of one of our "fur-babies."
Our 15-year-old cat Rascal began showing signs of a urinary tract infection over the weekend. I called our vet on Monday morning and was able to get him in.
What I thought was a bladder infection turned out to be so much more. Tumors were wrapped around and inside his bladder and urinary tract. His kidneys were full of blood and beginning to fail. And the vet found a heart murmur from a valve that was not closing properly. He had clearly been sick for some time but had given us no indication of his deteriorating condition.
Because of the seriousness of the situation and the assurances of our vet that our beloved cat was dying and there was very little we could do, we made the sad decision to end his pain. He was still under anesthesia from the exploratory surgery when I sat down next to him, talking to him and petting him while the vet gave him the final shot.
I told him that even though the rest of the family could not be there, we all loved him. I told him what a wonderful cat he had been and that it was okay to let go. I watched as he took his last breath and left any pain he may have been in behind.
I fully expected to bring my cat back home with some antibiotics. Instead I brought him home in a box to bury him in our backyard.
The decision to love and care about anything, be it a person or an animal, always come with the risk that we will experience the pain of loss at some point. With an animal it is almost certain to end in heartache, simply because their life spans are so much shorter than our own. I know people who have experienced the death of a dog or cat and can never bring themselves to take on the responsibility of pet ownership again, simply because the pain and grief are too much to bear.
Bringing an animal into your life can be difficult, in both the beginning, as they go through the puppy and kitten stages, and at the end when letting go is inevitable. It is the time in between, however, that keeps me bringing animals into our lives, and always will as long as I am able to care for them.
They give love unconditionally with no strings attached. They help us exercise, comfort us with their silent presence when we are down, and make us laugh with their antics. All they ask in return is that we care for them for the duration of their lives.
I have never understood how anyone could surrender an animal when it becomes old or sick to a shelter or vet's office. Pet ownership should never be conditional. When you take on the responsibility of an animal, I believe it is your obligation to see them through their entire journey, no matter how sad that ending may be.
We still have several pets at home, including Rascal's two 15-year-old sisters. We know we will take this road again sooner rather than later. But it is a journey I am willing to conclude with them, all the way to the bitter end
Rest in peace, Rascal. We love you.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
With my children now at the ages of 21 and nearly 18, I thought the parenting finish line was in sight. But the reality is that there is no such thing as an end to the parenting journey.
Three weeks ago Shannon ended up in the emergency room with an extremely high heart rate and numbness on her entire left side. That is a medical mystery we are still trying to solve.
Two weeks ago Sean had his wisdom teeth removed. We had to make several trips back to the surgeon's office when two of the sockets were not healing properly. This past weekend, he developed an infection on the left side and had additional surgery this past Monday. He is now even more swollen than after his wisdom teeth initially came out and in even more pain as well.
In the midst of all the doctors, tests, surgeries and MRIs, there is something they both needed the most--their mom.
I had visions when my children were young about how life would be when they were both grown. I would have more freedom, be able to work more hours and resume life as I knew it before parenting because they just would not need me as much.
But the truth is that life is complicated. The older we get, the more complex the situations and experiences. This is true for both parents and children.
No matter what age, our children still need our support and guidance. And as parents, we still need to know we are an important part of their lives. That we still matter.
I have found that as my children grow older, they often need me more now than they did when they were small. I will be a parent for as long as we all shall live.
And that makes me happier than I thought it would. Because to certain people in this world, I will always matter. No matter how old we all get.
Three weeks ago Shannon ended up in the emergency room with an extremely high heart rate and numbness on her entire left side. That is a medical mystery we are still trying to solve.
Two weeks ago Sean had his wisdom teeth removed. We had to make several trips back to the surgeon's office when two of the sockets were not healing properly. This past weekend, he developed an infection on the left side and had additional surgery this past Monday. He is now even more swollen than after his wisdom teeth initially came out and in even more pain as well.
In the midst of all the doctors, tests, surgeries and MRIs, there is something they both needed the most--their mom.
I had visions when my children were young about how life would be when they were both grown. I would have more freedom, be able to work more hours and resume life as I knew it before parenting because they just would not need me as much.
But the truth is that life is complicated. The older we get, the more complex the situations and experiences. This is true for both parents and children.
No matter what age, our children still need our support and guidance. And as parents, we still need to know we are an important part of their lives. That we still matter.
I have found that as my children grow older, they often need me more now than they did when they were small. I will be a parent for as long as we all shall live.
And that makes me happier than I thought it would. Because to certain people in this world, I will always matter. No matter how old we all get.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
The Days Are Long, But The Years Are Short
Just this past weekend, my daughter returned to Michigan State University and moved into her first apartment. After taking more than a year off to recover from some health issues I have gotten used to her being here, and the house seems so quiet now.
My son is still at home but will be starting his senior year of high school in just a couple of weeks. His time here, too, is limited.
I often think back to when they were small and how long and chaotic the days felt. Now it seems like it has gone by in the blink of an eye.
Years ago I heard an expression regarding the time spent raising your children. "The days are long, but the years are short." When you are in the middle of play dates, school plays, sports, scouts, and the myriad of other things in which your children are involved, it feels like the time you spend carting them around will never end. Now it seems it has ended far too quickly.
If parenting has taught me anything, it is the virtue of patience. Patience not only is needed to deal with children on a daily basis, but also with the time and energy that is spent guiding, teaching and just plain giving of yourself to them. For that precious time will one day come to an end.
For those of you still in the midst of raising young children, enjoy every moment, even the difficult ones, and resist the urge to wish them away.
Like it or not, one day that wish will definitely come true.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
DVR-ing Through Life
A few years ago I discovered something life-altering: the magic of the DVR.
This wonderful device now allows me to watch a half-hour show in a little over 20 minutes. It has spared my hearing from the obnoxious advertisers who still insist on recording commercials at ten times the volume of the program I was viewing. I have been able to escape from the endless array of product promotions extolling the woes of PMS, incontinence and, my personal favorite, erectile dysfunction.
There are a few commercials I find clever and funny, like the Allstate "Mayhem" commercials with the guy who declares himself to be a tree branch, a raccoon, or an annoying child in the back of a car to demonstrate what could happen if you aren't insured for these situations. I love the one where he is the streaker on a football field and declares, "I'm 300 pounds, painted blue and wearing nothing but cleats."
Most commercials, however, are downright annoying. The Pier One commercials with the tag line "Find what speaks to you" get on my nerves, but that is mostly because the only thing the items in Pier One say to me is "You can't afford me."
The commercials I absolutely cannot stand are the Cottonelle toilet paper commercials where the woman with the British accent walks up to strangers in shopping malls and airports and asks them "How's your bum?' Clearly this is staged since the people in the commercials cheerily discuss personal hygiene with a perfect stranger.
If some woman walked up to me on an airport concourse and began firing off questions of this nature, I would not be so lively and forthcoming. I would whip out the pepper stray and start screaming for a TSA agent.
So these days I happily skip through the feminine hygiene commercials and get to the good stuff. It's a shame we can't do the same with the little everyday annoyances in life. How nice would it be to press a button and skip the traffic jam, the long lines at the grocery store or the endless wait at the doctor's office.
But life doesn't work that way. Like commercials, you have wade through the annoying to get to the gratifying part. If you get into the habit of skipping through what you think is unnecessary too often, you might miss out on something good.
Sometimes you just need to resist the urge to hit that fast-forward button. You might just discover a hidden gem.
Then again, you may also come across an advertisement for adult diapers, but that's a chance you take.
This wonderful device now allows me to watch a half-hour show in a little over 20 minutes. It has spared my hearing from the obnoxious advertisers who still insist on recording commercials at ten times the volume of the program I was viewing. I have been able to escape from the endless array of product promotions extolling the woes of PMS, incontinence and, my personal favorite, erectile dysfunction.
There are a few commercials I find clever and funny, like the Allstate "Mayhem" commercials with the guy who declares himself to be a tree branch, a raccoon, or an annoying child in the back of a car to demonstrate what could happen if you aren't insured for these situations. I love the one where he is the streaker on a football field and declares, "I'm 300 pounds, painted blue and wearing nothing but cleats."
Most commercials, however, are downright annoying. The Pier One commercials with the tag line "Find what speaks to you" get on my nerves, but that is mostly because the only thing the items in Pier One say to me is "You can't afford me."
The commercials I absolutely cannot stand are the Cottonelle toilet paper commercials where the woman with the British accent walks up to strangers in shopping malls and airports and asks them "How's your bum?' Clearly this is staged since the people in the commercials cheerily discuss personal hygiene with a perfect stranger.
If some woman walked up to me on an airport concourse and began firing off questions of this nature, I would not be so lively and forthcoming. I would whip out the pepper stray and start screaming for a TSA agent.
So these days I happily skip through the feminine hygiene commercials and get to the good stuff. It's a shame we can't do the same with the little everyday annoyances in life. How nice would it be to press a button and skip the traffic jam, the long lines at the grocery store or the endless wait at the doctor's office.
But life doesn't work that way. Like commercials, you have wade through the annoying to get to the gratifying part. If you get into the habit of skipping through what you think is unnecessary too often, you might miss out on something good.
Sometimes you just need to resist the urge to hit that fast-forward button. You might just discover a hidden gem.
Then again, you may also come across an advertisement for adult diapers, but that's a chance you take.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Paranormal Witless
The other night while perusing through the 300-some channels on our satellite television network, I discovered that there was once again nothing worth watching to be found. I settled on something called Celebrity Ghost Stories where so-called celebrities you have barely heard of recount their paranormal experiences.
Everyone from Greg from in The Brady Bunch to some woman who appeared in The Bachelor have apparently had a ghostly encounter. Something like 78 percent of people say they believe in ghosts, yet only 18 percent claim they have actually seen one. Funny, though, how nearly every C-list celebrity in Hollywood has apparently been haunted.
From Celebrity Ghost Stories to Paranormal Witness to A Haunting, ghost stories seem to dominate the airwaves these days. I have to wonder what the fascination is with these shows. Do we enjoy being frightened? Or is it simply an effort to understand the mysteries of what lies beyond this world?
I have never seen a ghost, nor do I have much of a desire to find one. My Aunt Nancy, however, would love to have this experience. When her brother-in-law Fred was dying of cancer years ago, she asked him for one special request. She always wanted to see a ghost. Fred, who always had a great sense of humor, replied "I'll see what I can do."
Fred has been gone for many years and has yet to make an appearance. Being that Fred, during his lifetime, had a hard time walking the straight and narrow and had a reputation as a gambler and a somewhat shady business man, we have a feeling that Fred is in a place where they are not letting him out.
Most of us have an opinion of what happens after we die. Many believe in the concept of heaven and hell. Others believe that death is simply a dark, mindless, endless void.
More than likely, I have family and friends in all three places.
My religion teaches that we are either rewarded or punished for our actions during our time on this earth and does not really address the concept of ghosts and hauntings. However, if someone has passed in a violent and untimely manner, or has lived a less than ideal mortal existence and is afraid of what awaits them in the great beyond, I believe it is possible that their souls can become lost or choose to remain behind.
Nevertheless, I am making a conscious effort to live a life that will be rewarded after my demise. The best that any of us can hope is to leave this world a little better than we found it.
But just in case, I am keeping a list of those I plan to haunt.
Everyone from Greg from in The Brady Bunch to some woman who appeared in The Bachelor have apparently had a ghostly encounter. Something like 78 percent of people say they believe in ghosts, yet only 18 percent claim they have actually seen one. Funny, though, how nearly every C-list celebrity in Hollywood has apparently been haunted.
From Celebrity Ghost Stories to Paranormal Witness to A Haunting, ghost stories seem to dominate the airwaves these days. I have to wonder what the fascination is with these shows. Do we enjoy being frightened? Or is it simply an effort to understand the mysteries of what lies beyond this world?
I have never seen a ghost, nor do I have much of a desire to find one. My Aunt Nancy, however, would love to have this experience. When her brother-in-law Fred was dying of cancer years ago, she asked him for one special request. She always wanted to see a ghost. Fred, who always had a great sense of humor, replied "I'll see what I can do."
Fred has been gone for many years and has yet to make an appearance. Being that Fred, during his lifetime, had a hard time walking the straight and narrow and had a reputation as a gambler and a somewhat shady business man, we have a feeling that Fred is in a place where they are not letting him out.
Most of us have an opinion of what happens after we die. Many believe in the concept of heaven and hell. Others believe that death is simply a dark, mindless, endless void.
More than likely, I have family and friends in all three places.
My religion teaches that we are either rewarded or punished for our actions during our time on this earth and does not really address the concept of ghosts and hauntings. However, if someone has passed in a violent and untimely manner, or has lived a less than ideal mortal existence and is afraid of what awaits them in the great beyond, I believe it is possible that their souls can become lost or choose to remain behind.
Nevertheless, I am making a conscious effort to live a life that will be rewarded after my demise. The best that any of us can hope is to leave this world a little better than we found it.
But just in case, I am keeping a list of those I plan to haunt.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Politically Correcting Christmas
Be warned--the politically correct police have run out of everyday faux pas to pursue and are now coming after Santa Claus.
A child advocate named Pamela McColl has decided that the classic holiday rhyme "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" needs to be revised because Santa is a smoker. She has published a new version that has removed the lines, "The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath".
McColl's reasoning is that 25 percent of long-term smokers first pick up the habit before age 10, and that having a beloved children's character smoking in the middle of the living room is a bad influence.
I must have read this tale a hundred times over the years, and I never once thought of Santa as a smoker. It is all part of his "jolly old elf" persona. I would imagine the reference to smoking goes over the head of 90 percent of us, but McColl is apparently convinced it will result in millions of children writing to Santa for a pipe and tobacco in their stockings.
What's next? We will be deleting the references to Santa going up and down the chimney because it is technically breaking and entering?
What about the line about his protruding stomach? Will that also be changed because it appears unhealthy? A Santa with washboard abs is just wrong. And what about the reference to his stomach as "a bowl full of jelly"? Somehow the line "shook as he laughed like a bowl full of tofu" doesn't have the same ring.
If we are going to p.c. Christmas, let's just take it all the way and do away with the term "elves." Couldn't this be considered derogatory? Perhaps it would be more correct to refer to them as "vertically challenged production and shipping coordinators."
I agree that there are certain terms and expressions that should not be part of polite society. However, in an effort not to offend anyone or make sure children are only exposed to healthy images, we are taking things a bit too far.
There have always been and will always be smokers, overweight people and other characteristics we deem less than ideal in this world. Perhaps these are not the best lifestyles or attitudes to pursue, but it allows children to understand that everyone has attributes and qualities that make them unique. And just as those around them can reflect good examples, it is not a bad idea that they are exposed to behaviors NOT to imitate. It does not take much to make them understand that smoking is what causes Grandpa to have yellow teeth, a bad cough and smell like an ashtray.
There are some icons in the world with which you simply do not mess, and Santa is one of them. So I will take my Santa chubby with pipe smoke circling around his head, thank you very much.
And if anyone suggests he should not wear red because it represents gang colors, may they be strung up with garland in a pear tree occupied by a partridge, three french hens and four calling birds with full stomachs.
A child advocate named Pamela McColl has decided that the classic holiday rhyme "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" needs to be revised because Santa is a smoker. She has published a new version that has removed the lines, "The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath".
McColl's reasoning is that 25 percent of long-term smokers first pick up the habit before age 10, and that having a beloved children's character smoking in the middle of the living room is a bad influence.
I must have read this tale a hundred times over the years, and I never once thought of Santa as a smoker. It is all part of his "jolly old elf" persona. I would imagine the reference to smoking goes over the head of 90 percent of us, but McColl is apparently convinced it will result in millions of children writing to Santa for a pipe and tobacco in their stockings.
What's next? We will be deleting the references to Santa going up and down the chimney because it is technically breaking and entering?
What about the line about his protruding stomach? Will that also be changed because it appears unhealthy? A Santa with washboard abs is just wrong. And what about the reference to his stomach as "a bowl full of jelly"? Somehow the line "shook as he laughed like a bowl full of tofu" doesn't have the same ring.
If we are going to p.c. Christmas, let's just take it all the way and do away with the term "elves." Couldn't this be considered derogatory? Perhaps it would be more correct to refer to them as "vertically challenged production and shipping coordinators."
I agree that there are certain terms and expressions that should not be part of polite society. However, in an effort not to offend anyone or make sure children are only exposed to healthy images, we are taking things a bit too far.
There have always been and will always be smokers, overweight people and other characteristics we deem less than ideal in this world. Perhaps these are not the best lifestyles or attitudes to pursue, but it allows children to understand that everyone has attributes and qualities that make them unique. And just as those around them can reflect good examples, it is not a bad idea that they are exposed to behaviors NOT to imitate. It does not take much to make them understand that smoking is what causes Grandpa to have yellow teeth, a bad cough and smell like an ashtray.
There are some icons in the world with which you simply do not mess, and Santa is one of them. So I will take my Santa chubby with pipe smoke circling around his head, thank you very much.
And if anyone suggests he should not wear red because it represents gang colors, may they be strung up with garland in a pear tree occupied by a partridge, three french hens and four calling birds with full stomachs.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Annoying The Vote Out Of Us
The saying "every vote counts" certainly hold true in any election, but I am really starting to feel honored with the caliber of people who are vying for my support in this election.
I have been disconnecting, ignoring and blocking political phone calls for months. In the past four days, I have hung up on former President Bill Clinton, actor and former Senator Fred G. Thompson, and Clint Eastwood. The fact that these are recordings are merely a technicality.
I usually have some choice words for these robo-callers before I hang up. I know they can't hear me, but it does my blood pressure good to let them have it.
The closer this election gets in both proximity and statistics, the more both parties break out their "big guns" and bombard us with mail, media ads and phone calls. I have to wonder how effective this is when we become so overwhelmed with political statements and conflicting information that we are essentially numb to their messages.
I like to have the "Today" Show on in the mornings as I prepare for my day. Yesterday morning, three out of every four commercials were political ads. Out of these three advertisements per station break, two of them were from the Super PAC trying to elect Mitt Romney.
I suppose this blitzkrieg was supposed to persuade me that Romney is the more effective, desirable candidate. Frankly, the only effect it had on me was sheer annoyance. Surely not the result for which they were aiming.
The barrage of these ads did encourage me to change my mind, however. I changed my mind about listening to the "Today" Show and turned on the Sonic music channels on our satellite dish. These are blissfully commercial-free.
I really hope I have the chance to hang up on Barack Obama and Mitt Romney themselves. That would really do wonders for my ego.
I have to admit however, that I did enjoy speaking to Clint Eastwood. I explained that I could not talk at the moment because I was too busy having a conversation with a table lamp.
He understood completely.
I have been disconnecting, ignoring and blocking political phone calls for months. In the past four days, I have hung up on former President Bill Clinton, actor and former Senator Fred G. Thompson, and Clint Eastwood. The fact that these are recordings are merely a technicality.
I usually have some choice words for these robo-callers before I hang up. I know they can't hear me, but it does my blood pressure good to let them have it.
The closer this election gets in both proximity and statistics, the more both parties break out their "big guns" and bombard us with mail, media ads and phone calls. I have to wonder how effective this is when we become so overwhelmed with political statements and conflicting information that we are essentially numb to their messages.
I like to have the "Today" Show on in the mornings as I prepare for my day. Yesterday morning, three out of every four commercials were political ads. Out of these three advertisements per station break, two of them were from the Super PAC trying to elect Mitt Romney.
I suppose this blitzkrieg was supposed to persuade me that Romney is the more effective, desirable candidate. Frankly, the only effect it had on me was sheer annoyance. Surely not the result for which they were aiming.
The barrage of these ads did encourage me to change my mind, however. I changed my mind about listening to the "Today" Show and turned on the Sonic music channels on our satellite dish. These are blissfully commercial-free.
I really hope I have the chance to hang up on Barack Obama and Mitt Romney themselves. That would really do wonders for my ego.
I have to admit however, that I did enjoy speaking to Clint Eastwood. I explained that I could not talk at the moment because I was too busy having a conversation with a table lamp.
He understood completely.
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