Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Another One Bites the Dust

It is 2016.  Our world as we know it will never be the same.  The nation is truly in trouble.  Our faith in our leaders have been shaken to the core.

Brad and Angelina are getting a divorce.

The demise of this Hollywood super couple has grabbed headlines, at times overshadowing the presidential election. The public and media seem to be in shock that the ultimate Hollywood marriage has hit the skids.  I, however, am not.

Marriage is difficult enough with two distinct personalities carrying two varying perspectives trying  to survive in one household. Conflict is unavoidable in the best marriages, and the fight to work it through day after day can be overwhelming.

Add to that a gaggle of paparazzi reporting on your every move, going through your trash and hounding your children, and any semblance of a normal life, or a normal marriage, becomes virtually impossible.  No wonder so many celebrity marriages dissolve.

You would think that having it all--fame, fortune and a picture-perfect family--would translate to eternal happiness.  But according to an article in The Huffington Post, those are the exact reasons why these marriages fail.

The article by M. Gary Neuman, "Why Do Celeb Marriages a Fail?" lists some interesting reasons why Hollywood couples can't seem to keep it together.  Celebrities seem to accept that they will be spending long periods of time away from home and family and embrace the delusion that short visits at home to "catch up" is sufficient to maintain long-term relationships.

There also seems to be an issue with defining themselves as a "couple."  With much of their time spent living individual lives and pursuing their own careers at the expense of time at home, it is quite easy to realize that you can live without the other person. With more time spent on self-indulgence and less time building a life with their partner, separation becomes rather easy.

As the story of their own "conscious uncoupling" begins to evolve, we will surely be riveted to our screens with morbid fascination.  There is something a bit satisfying about perfect people having their dirty laundry aired in public.

So the next time I find my husband's dirty socks on the kitchen island, or he leaves the outdoor hose running for six hours for no apparent reason, I will not become frustrated.  I will realize how lucky I am.

After all, I could be jet-setting off to a Paris movie set, leaving my children with their au pair, while conferencing with my lawyers whether or not my pre-nup will hold up in court.  I could be Angelina.

The horror of it all.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016


While searching for some photos to display at my son's graduation party earlier this summer, I came across one that at first glance did not seem very worthwhile.  Upon retrospect, however, it speaks volumes.

It is a photo of Sean as a little boy, probably just over a year old, taken around 1998.  He is walking out of a room followed by his constant companion back then, our Labrador retriever, Zak.

Both of them are facing away from the camera.  In itself, the photo is unremarkable.

Until you realize that the dog in the picture passed away in 2010 after being part of our family for more than 13 years.  And the little boy in the picture started college today.

To me, the picture represents the passage of time. How a small child toddling from a room followed by his dog one day is suddenly headed off to his first college class.  And it seemed to happen in the blink of any eye.

We see our children every day, not realizing how much they grow and change.  Not understanding how quickly time will go by and how soon they will leave us to discover their place in the world. One day, they will walk out that door and be on their own.

There were days when my children were young and I would imagine how it would be when they are a little older, a little more independent.  Now, I would do anything to turn back time so I could savor every moment, not rush through them hoping for the next one.

There will be many more doorways in our future.  Now I understand that I need to pause those passages, just for a moment, to savor the smile, the hug, or the pure memory of it.

The saying goes when one door closes, another opens.  As they open for my children, I hope I have the chance to linger at them just for a little while. I know now that they will walk through the next one all too quickly.