Changes in Seasons

 I usually look forward to autumn. I love the colors, the cool crisp air, and the sights and smells of this amazing season.

But not this year. Because I know I will likely be losing my beloved companion of 12 years. My dog, Chloe.

She was recently diagnosed with an aggressive and rapidly-spreading form of melanoma. Although her blood work is excellent, X-rays reveal the cancer may already be in her lungs. The vet cannot say for sure, but she very likely only has months to live.

Her time all depends on how long it takes the cancer to spread. It could only be a matter of weeks. Or she can hold on for six months or longer. No one knows.

I try to concentrate on giving her the best doggie life I can and focus on the time we have left. She still loves her food and treats. We continue to take our morning walks, although she is moving slower now. And our walks also take more time because I no longer hurry her. I give her the chance to stop, sniff, and enjoy this world while she still has time.

But the uncertainty is always lurking in the background. I find myself dreading the time when she will not be here for a walk on the Lake Michigan shore or a short hike near the woods by our cabin instead of taking in the moment.

So, like all difficulties in life, I have placed this in God’s hands. I know he will guide both her and us in His wisdom. I am certain He will give her the gift of the time she needs while giving us the capacity to enjoy these moments with her along with the wisdom to know when it is time to let her go.

For now, we will keep taking walks as the morning air grows cooler each day. I will buy her a loofah dog—which she generally tears apart within a few days—just because I know the pleasure it will give her. I am going to buy the fancy frosted dog cookies at the pet store that I normally only buy for her birthday, just because I can. And I will keep reminding myself to live in each and every moment with my friend.

Because all seasons bring changes.