What's Left Behind

 In August of 2010, we went as a family to a local animal shelter. We came home with an 8-week-old brown puppy we named Chloe.

On June 16, 2023, just four days after her 13^th birthday, we went with her to the
vet one last time to say our goodbyes.

She was a 10-pound ball of energy that grew into a 74-pound sweet yet often stubborn dog. There were times when she could be an absolute love bug. Other times, she would look at you like she would flip you off if she actually had the digits to do it.

She was more than a dog to us. She was our protector. Our travel companion. Our constant shadow. Our floor cleaner. The greeter when we walked in the door. And a friend who knew exactly when you needed a cuddle, an encouraging lick, or a ball dropped at your feet.

Her fur may have turned grey, but for 12 years she was a ball of energy that could still run with the puppy next door. Then in August of 2022, we found a tumor in her mouth that the vet diagnosed as melanoma.

This is a fast-moving cancer, she advised us. She probably only had weeks or months left.

But being the dog she was, she defied the odds.

The tumor was removed, and follow-up visits showed no sign of it returning. Her blood work was excellent. We thought we had dodged a bullet. Perhaps she was in total remission or the diagnosis was wrong.

Yet little signs started creeping in that her age was catching up with her. She moved a bit slower, had some difficulty getting up, and went on some medication for joint pain. Her hearing greatly diminished. And she lost some interest in the toys she so loved.

In late April of this year, we found another tumor in the exact same spot. The vet removed it and was confident she got all of it. But on a follow-up visit only three weeks later, the tumor was already growing back.

Then the bleeding started. Just spotting at first, and we thought it was from the tumor site as it was still healing. One night, however, she had a bad nosebleed. Another followed a few days later. She now had a tumor in her nasal cavity.

A Chinese herb recommended by the vet helped slow the bleeding. For about three weeks, she had relatively minor episodes. But on the night of June 15^th, she had a major bleed that lasted at least 30 minutes.

She was panicking and kept shaking her head to clear her nose, which kept the bleeding from clotting. All four of us were covered with blood trying to get her to calm down enough to slow the bleeding. We finally did after about five towels and copious amounts of blood on the floor, walls, and ourselves.

We also found out that night the emergency vet clinic in our area had closed. The closest one was 40 minutes away.

What happens next time if we truly cannot stop the bleeding? She may not survive a 40-minute drive to a clinic. That night, we decided we cannot put her or ourselves through this anymore. In the morning, I called the vet and made an appointment to bring her in that afternoon.

That morning, we all rearranged our schedules to spend her last day spoiling her. We gave her more treats than we could count. She had one last doggie sundae. We took her on a final walk through the neighborhood she loved and protected. We gave her all the pats, hugs, and love a great doggy deserves.

At 3:00 PM, we all walked into the vet's office with her one last time.

She was never fond of the veterinarian and was shaking at first. But we surrounded her, petted her, and talked to her until she calmed down. We gave her Hershey Kisses from a jar the vet tech gave us labeled “goodbye kisses.”

When the time came for her to go, we told her what a good doggy she was, how much we love and will miss her, and how we would never forget her. She went peacefully, taking a part of each of our hearts with her.

A few days have passed since that sad Friday. Her ashes have been returned to us and will be buried in our backyard when her memorial marker arrives. Her dog bed, food dish, and toys have been put away since it was too painful to look at them.

Leftover dog food and treats have been distributed to neighbors with dogs who express their sadness at her passing. Although I suspect they will not miss her barking at them.

Her leftover medication has been packed up and will be given to a local no-kill shelter. And the emptiness left behind without her presence is sometimes more than I can bear. My first walk without her was unbelievably hard, especially when a neighbor asked where she was. I barely held it together as I told her Chloe has passed.

Still, I know she is not really gone. When we lose a pet, they take a piece of our hearts with them. But the memory of the love they left behind fills that void in our hearts. And that love will never leave us for as long as we live.

Thank you, Chloe, for keeping our yard safe from squirrels, birds, moles, chipmunks, and anything else you could chase and sometimes catch. Thank you for protecting us from anyone who approached our fence, even if it was neighbors you saw hundreds of times.

Thank you for never leaving food on the floor long enough for us to enact the five-second rule. Thank you for the exercise, the enthusiastic greetings when we came home, and all those moments you somehow knew we just needed you close by. Thank you for the wonderful memories of the time spent with the world’s best dog.

Most of all, thank you for the love, the devotion, and for being our beloved doggy.

Rest in peace, sweet girl. We will love you always.

I Can’t Tell You What “Woke” Is. But I Can Tell You What It Has Done

 Apparently, it is an insult now if you call someone “woke.” But I don’t quite understand why.

Especially since I don’t even understand the definition of “woke.” Is it someone who believes in treating others as equals despite our differences? Or is it just some general label you give someone because you don’t like their views?

This is especially important because if you ask people the definition of woke—including those who complain about it—they usually can’t define it either.

I think most people consider it something akin to making people comfortable and not trying to insult anyone. But others apparently see it as something demeaning that keeps them from expressing themselves.

This is puzzling because you certainly are allowed to express yourself. It’s usually the consequences of expressing yourself that cause the problems. But I digress.

Like most people, I cannot give you a definition of “woke.” But I can tell you what “woke” has done:

•          It passed the Nineteenth Amendment, giving women the right to vote and a voice in America.

•          After 146 people—mainly young women—died horrific deaths in a factory fire and after thousands of workers were maimed, disabled, and killed in workplace accidents, it established unions and occupational safety standards to protect American workers.

•      After decades of Jim Crow laws, it eliminated the lynching, segregation, and discrimination of African Americans through the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

•      It eliminated unfair voting practices in the south by White officials who gave “tests” and administered grandfather clauses to potential Black voters with the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

•      It makes discriminatory practices against LGBTQ individuals—such as kicking them out of their homes and dismissing them from jobs—illegal. It also legalizes gay marriage, which is supported by over 60 percent of the people in this country. 

•      It passed the Americans with Disabilities Act, guaranteeing equal treatment and access to public buildings to Americans with mental or physical impairments.

•       It established the Clean Air Act in 1970 and the Clean Water Act in 1972, both passed by a Democratic Congress and signed into law by Republican President Richard Nixon.

•      It gave women reproductive rights. A right supported by over two-thirds of Americans.

•       It gave rise to the #MeToo movement, which gives women a voice against predatory sexual practices and has finally encouraged law enforcement to take sexual assault cases seriously.

•       It has given us Medicare and Social Security to help Americans deal with aging. It has given us disability to aid those who are injured or sick. It has given us a myriad of social programs to aid those struggling with poverty.

 In every one of these cases, there were those who opposed these movements or the legislation that resulted. Why? Because for some people, when someone of a different race, sex, sexual orientation, social class, or even a different political persuasion gains rights, they believe they are somehow losing theirs.

People who are angry over some perceived “loss of rights” or dissatisfied with their lives will always see someone else’s gain as a personal affront to them. And they need a scapegoat.  Someone they can target for their perceived loss of status. They need a convenient target upon which to take out their anger.

So now, apparently, that anger extends to people who support those who were or are marginalized. So we call them "woke" in an effort to insult them. When all most of us are trying to do is make sense of an ever-changing world.

I had an argument with someone once who said the entire #MeToo movement was void because a few women claimed that men whistling at them constituted sexual harassment. This person claimed that this makes the entire movement “ridiculous” and we should just disregard it.

First of all, some women do see this as a form of sexual harassment regardless of how it is meant. That does not mean that everyone who supports the movement will agree.

Secondly, I cannot find a single case where a man was actually arrested or prosecuted for this. Nor can I find anywhere in the United States of America where whistling at women would be considered a crime.

And finally, the #MeToo movement has resulted in a dramatic decrease in sexual harassment in the workplace. It has also meant that police departments now take reports of sexual assault seriously. There is now a movement nationwide to process a huge backlog of rape kits in dozens of cities around this country.

But, sure. We should declare an entire movement that has occurred to the benefit of ALL women null and void because a few don’t like men whistling at them.

What you need to remember is that in every movement—regardless of whether it is on the right or the left—you are going to have those on the extreme edges who take things too far. But to use that as a litmus test of an entire movement is extreme in itself, not to mention ridiculous.

Speaking of taking things too far and embracing the ridiculous, let’s look at the reaction of some on the far right to the recent collapse of the Silicon Valley Bank. Fox News devoted copious amounts of time on Monday to claim that the bank’s instability and collapse were due largely to the fact that they tried to be too “woke.”

Really? So it had nothing to do with the banking deregulations that occurred in 2018 (because we clearly learned nothing from 2008)? And that bank’s heavy reliance on investments in high-tech startups? Or the fact that Silicon Valley Bank had extensive holdings in bonds, which lost value when interest rates started to climb?

To listen to the words of “wisdom” from the likes of Fox News or Florida Governor Ron DeSantis—who never misses an opportunity to take an uninformed cheap shot—you would think that bank was run by Greenpeace, the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and a drag queen named LaChicqua.

But Fox is in damage control right now for a number of reasons, and recent court document releases have shown us how seriously we should take anything that comes out of the mouths of Rupert Murdoch and Company. Including their definitions of “woke.”

Even if you believe that woke has gone too far, take heart. History has continually shown us that when society leans too far to the extreme, balance eventually returns. What comes to pass is a middle ground that won’t make anyone on the extreme edges happy but is something by which the majority of us can abide.

What NEVER comes to pass, however, is a return to the old status quo where you can marginalize, demean, criminalize, and deny basic rights to those who look or behave differently from you because you need someone to blame.

So if you seek a return to a narrow-minded, ignorant mindset and believe the rest of us will blindly follow, you have bigger problems than “woke.”

Enough With the Thoughts and Prayers

Gun violence has hit a little close to home this week.

My daughter's alma mater, Michigan State University, was the latest victim in a string of casualties. Shannon is no longer at the campus but still has friends there. On Monday night, she was texting with someone who had barricaded themselves in one of the buildings while a person who had no business having a gun roamed through several buildings, shooting and killing at random.

Yes, the typical outrage is being bantered about. People are angry that this has happened yet again. Others, however, counter and claim that this is not a "gun" problem. It is a "societal" problem or a "mental health problem," and the guns are as blameless as their victims and are not REALLY killing people. Or the actual problem is that more people are not running around with guns to shoot back at the people with guns.

Sure sounds like a gun problem to me.         

But that outrage will play out as it always does. With nothing. Simply because a portion of our politicians is beholden to a constitutional amendment ratified in December of 1791. 

A time when the young United States of America had no standing armies and relied on volunteers. 

A time when a nation that now boasts nearly 332 million had a population of  3,929,214.

A time when the $12 cost of purchasing a gun--about $390 in today's money--limited the financial ability of many people to purchase one. That equaled about five weeks' worth of wages in Colonial times. No one who did not absolutely need a gun spent five weeks' worth of their wages on one.

A time when muskets and flintlock pistols held one round at a time and could fire off a maximum of three to four rounds per minute, while today's semi-automatic weapons can fire as many as 45 rounds in that same time period.

The founding fathers may have envisioned a country that would grow exponentially. I think it is safe to say they did not envision anything like the carnage that modern guns can inflict.

But none of that matters. As some see it, we are all simply collateral damage in the right to own guns. And as the collateral damage adds up, they simply double down. To the point where even common sense measures are seen as a "radical left" tactic to ban all guns.

Well, I am not a member of the "radical left." I am a moderate. I reject extremism on both sides of the political spectrum. I also have guns in my home. And I have had it.

I do not want to hear your excuses. I do not want to hear only "thoughts and prayers." As someone who DOES support the right of citizens to own firearms, I want common sense.

I want red flag laws passed that allow families to work with law enforcement to keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill or those suffering from psychological issues, whether long-term or temporary.

I want the gun show loopholes closed.

I want expanded background checks and mandatory seven-day waiting periods for ALL gun purchases.

I want all illegal firearms and all guns confiscated during the commission of crimes to be destroyed, not sold at auctions or deliberately put back into circulation so that law enforcement can "trace" them back to criminals. We all know how well Operation Fast & Furious worked out.

Lastly, I realize that the practice of private citizens owning semi-automatic weapons is a hot-button issue. Everyone has an opinion, and that is fine. To me, however, no private citizen needs to own a weapon whose only purpose is to kill as many people in as short a time as possible. I want the sale of semi-automatic weapons discontinued to the general public.

And let's talk about people with guns shooting at bad guys. Back in 2015, a suspect was fleeing a Home Depot here in Michigan after leaving the store with unpaid merchandise. The man was caught on surveillance video. Employees were aware and were following the suspect to get his plate numbers. Police had been called.

However, a woman with a licensed pistol took it upon herself to stop the thief. She began randomly firing at the suspect's vehicle in a parking lot full of people. 

The thief got away but was later arrested. The woman was also charged and given 18 months probation for reckless use, handling, or discharge of a firearm. 

It turns out that just because you have a permit to carry a gun doesn't mean you can whip it out and start firing it in public. It also means that even if someone is a "good" guy with a firearm, it doesn't make them responsible. Or smart for that matter. 

I don't understand the logic of arming a whole bunch of people who just randomly start firing a gun in a situation where they may not even understand the circumstances or consider the "collateral damage" that may be all around them. Or don't care simply because they want to be labeled a "hero." Leave the hero work to those who are required to be specially trained and put in specified numbers of hours on a gun range to be certified to use that gun.

You don't have to agree with me. That is certainly your right. 

But I am guessing there are a lot more people out there like me who are sick to death with the "thoughts and prayers" of those who want to point fingers and pour the blame on the "other side," but have no desire to do a damn thing to stop it. Because doing something about it would require them to grow a spine and stand up to the gun lobby.

It would also take away many of their talking points and their ability to put all of the blame on someone else. After all, when you do nothing but run your mouth, the risk is minimal.

Prayer, in my opinion, is certainly a good start. But James 2:14-17 reads:

What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

What does that mean for those who go around continually offering thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families, to those traumatized by the death and violence they have witnessed, but do nothing more? When you are not offering the solutions, not giving the most vulnerable members of society the protection they need, is that not "faith without works?"

Thoughts and prayers alone have never stopped a bullet. But for those who have only thoughts and prayers to offer, they go a long way toward keeping them flying.