A Vast Household Conspiracy--Our Appliances Are Watching Us

I am convinced I am about to uncover some major conspiracy that will shock every American household. Our appliances and electronics are plotting against us.

In the past few weeks, everything seems to have gone on the fritz. After I blogged a few weeks ago about problems with our photo printer, I took a copy of a photo up to the Geek Sqaud at Best Buy to see if they could help me figure out the problem. I was told it was probably the printer head gone bad and was advised to give the printer a proper burial.

This week, our computer decided to crash and now cannot load Windows. Yesterday, I once again made a visit to the Geek Squad and left them our computer. We are becoming best friends and will soon be going out for drinks and inviting each other to family functions.

Now my carpet steam cleaner is making noises that probably resesmble an elephant in labor. The cats run off and hide in terror every time I turn it on.

How is it that they all know to break down all at once and at the worst possible time? Last year, my oven and water conditioner went at the same time as our roof had to be replaced. Right now, Cliff's company is about to run out of work and the newspaper I work for is about to be sold, so neither of our jobs has a very stable future.

I am convinced our houses and everything in it talk to each other. They know exactly when a major expense or financial hardship is coming, and they take turns breaking down.

There was a movie back in the 1980s where appliances, cars, and anything else than ran on electrical impulses starting attacking people. I tell you this is coming! They are plotting against us and biding their time until they can take over the world!

The people in the movie were forced to take refuge on an island where there was no electricity. I would try to do this, but I would not survive two days without checking my email.

The dryer has just started making strange noises. I think it's plotting with the dishwasher. I need to go unplug a few things. The toaster looks like it wants to lead a coup.