Wedding Bells and Falling Tables

My sister Lynn got married last weekend. It was a beautiful day, a lovely ceremony, and an enjoyable wedding reception.

I am concerned about one thing, however. No one broke a table.

You have to go back through our family history of weddings to understand what I am talking about. At my wedding twenty years ago, my brother Kevin and his friend Ron were leaning against one of the tables as the reception was winding down. The legs gave out and the entire table collapsed. Ron and Kevin ended up on their backs, but somehow neither spilled a drop of the beer they were holding.

When my brother Jeff was married three years ago, my siblings and I once again found ourselves at the end of another wedding reception packing away decorations and helping to clean up. My brother and his new wife Tanya were still there, along with Tanya's brother. As all of the chairs were already put away, Tanya's brother decided to take a rest by sitting on one of the tables. As fate would have it, the table collapsed.

We have decided that this has become a family omen that decides the future of the bride and groom: If a table breaks, the marriage will last. The Jewish people break wine glasses at weddings for good luck. The Sorchilla family breaks tables.

Needless to say, we are a bit concerned that no tables came crashing to the ground. However, a few minor incidents may make up for this. When my sister Lynn bent over to pick up our three-year-old nephew, the zipper on her wedding gown split. Fortunately her wedding coordinator was able to run to Joann Fabrics. Her dress was held up for the rest of the evening with elastic and safety pins.

Later on, while my cousin Donna was heading down the hallway toward the restrooms, the glue on the sole of her shoe gave way, and the bottom of her shoe was almost completely off. Luckily she had pair of shoes in her car stashed away for when her feet got tired.

So even though no tables came crashing down, we are hoping that a couple of minor wardrobe malfunctions make up for it.

But, just in case, I am going to make the newlyweds a table out of popsicle sticks and have them smash it on their first anniversary. Why tempt fate.

Best wishes, John and Lynn!