Finding Peace

There is a saying often attributed to Patrick Henry, but it was first penned by Evelyn Beatrice Hall.

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Hall, who wrote under the pseudonym of Stephen G. Tallentyre, wrote The Friends of Voltaire, an 18th-century biography of French Enlightenment writer and philosopher Voltaire, in 1906. Her book used these words to describe the principle of free speech.

The truth is you have the right to voice your opinions whether I like it or not. You have the right to express yourself in your own space and in your own way. I may not agree with what you say or even think you are wrong. But do you have the right to say it? Absolutely. This is still America, and the First Amendment still applies.

Too many people, unfortunately, have forgotten that principle.

Mature and intelligent adults can disagree. They can even have a respectful discussion based on facts and exchange ideas.

However, someone coming into your space to belittle, insult, and make demands on what you can or cannot say is not a mature adult. And I have sadly encountered a few of them lately.

In the last week, I have had to unfriend or even block several people from my social media sites, not because they disagree, but because they feel the need to attack, mock, and degrade to do it.

Most of us are secure in our beliefs. We stop reading if we encounter an article or post with which we vehemently disagree. We scroll right past it without commenting. It does not change what we think. It does not require a full-blown assault because we are confident in our own principles and values, even if they differ from the author's.

Some people, however, encounter the differing opinions of others as if they are storming the beaches of Normandy.

They tell you you are prohibited from saying this or that because it offends them. They may demand that you change what you have written. They may belittle, name-call, or use obscenities. They put immature little laughing emojis on all the comments. And they throw out "whataboutisms" and their own set of "facts"--many that have been disproven--like grenades at an entrenched enemy.

You need to understand the type of person who does this. They are not trying to convince YOU that you are wrong. They are trying to convince themselves that they are right. 

Sure, some people may simply lash out from pure anger. Others, however, do it out of insecurity. Deep down, they question their own beliefs. They are unsure of the values they adopted or the person for whom they voted. To elevate their self-esteem, they need to bring yours down.

If you must publicly belittle others or tell them what they can or cannot say to make yourself feel superior, you have far more significant issues than political differences.

I have a feeling I am not the only one who dismissed others from their digital world, either temporarily or permanently. And I am here to tell you, don't feel bad about it. It can be challenging to walk away--especially if that person was close to you at one time--but you deserve to feel safe in your own space.

No one has the right to tell you what you can say or how you can think. You would not allow them to do this in your own home. Do not allow them to do it on your social media sites.

People who cannot respect what you say in your own space are toxic. Even if they are family. Give yourself permission to eliminate toxins. Surround yourself with those who treat you respectfully, even if your politics differ. Kindness and political differences are mutually exclusive only if you allow them to be.

That said, if you attack and insult others on their sites, you are the toxin they have every right to eliminate. If you are using your own spaces to belittle others, that, again, is your choice. But please remember that nothing in the First Amendment protects you from the consequences of your own words and what they may do to your relationships. Is it worth having friends or family lose respect for you or walk away altogether over a meme? If you claim to be a Christian, does Jesus really want you to spread the faith by being cruel or narrow-minded?

Be the grown-up. Be secure and mature enough to scroll past what you don't like. Be confident enough in who you are to not insult others to make yourself feel better. Please be respectful, but demand the same for yourself. 

We all deserve safe spaces. Especially now, with the coming holiday season, we all deserve to find some peace.